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mambalae-s · 1 year ago

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Hiii sweetie congrats on your milestone! My fave (to no one’s surprise) is kuroo. Over the years I’ve grown to love my eyes and brows and now consider them to be my best features. I’d say I’m very shy but once you get to know me I’m quite laid back and I kinda have no filter sometimes 💀 Im quiet especially around new people and I have a tendency to listen more than I talk.

For the nsfw portion, I’m always weak for slow, sensual missionary + choking 🫠🫠

My dream date with my man is going on a trip to somewhere we’ve never been before and spending the whole time exploring and discovering new places and food as well as new things about each other 🤭

my sweet lem! i’m so hopeful that this can make you smile ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ you and kuroo are meant to be, it’s canon and i’ll take nothing less! i’ll do my best to give you and your dear husband something cute and sweet that you’ll love!

╰┈➤ midnight affections — lem x kuroo

╰┈➤ song — every kind of way by h.e.r.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i picture you and tetsuro meeting by a coffeeshop one day before he goes to work. he’d planned to get his usual cup of espresso, but you catch his attention in the line and he can’t let go of you. something about you — and he cant tell if it’s your beauty, or the quiet gracefulness about you, or perhaps both and all in between, draws him in immediately.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 so, he takes a chance and taps you on your shoulder, and he felt his knees weaken when you turned your gaze to him, as if looking into your eyes alone caused the world to spin. the poor man, he’s not one to lose his voice, but he has to remind himself to be smooth and prays he doesn’t choke on his words when he asks you for a recommendation. what did you think he should get?

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s hyperfocused on the way your eyes appraise him, taking in his messy hair and charming grin before you hum and reach your decision. he doesn’t expect you to smile so flirtatiously, nearly combusts when you take a tentative step closer so that you could lean in for him to smell your sweet perfume. “let me surprise you, and it you like it, you’ll give me your number — how does that sound?”

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 oh… oh a charming one, weren’t you? he recognizes the playfulness beneath your sultry words and he returns his own grin with a counter offer — he takes your number, and he’ll let you know for sure what he thinks of your recommendation, a lovely hazelnut brew that makes him think of you and your utterly mesmerizing eyes for the rest of the week, long after you’d already left to go about your day.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 somehow, he neglects to muster up any courage at all and called you on pure excitement alone, terribly eager to hear your voice again at the end of his shift. it’s a little late and he thinks it’s silly to call anyone at 10pm, but he’s so elated when you do answer!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he jokingly asks what you could be doing at such a late hour, but he doesn’t expect you to honestly answer that you were enjoying a bubble bath you drew for yourself. only for a brief moment does he imagine how warm the water must be on your skin, face growing warm as he hears you sigh lowly and he sees a mental image of you leaned back with your hair pinned up, skin glistening under candlelights and petted with wet rose petals.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he can’t tell where exactly his boldness comes from when he asks you “all by yourself? i’m sure you could use some company, hm?” but he revels in the sound of your laughter as you comment on how bold he must be, and he immediately decides that yes, yes he’s majorly crushing on you. and its that same courage he owes all thanks to that he was able to ask you out on a date that weekend, wanting to see you again so badly that he thought about it that monday night onwards, all towards saturday morning when he finally met you again.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 since kuroo’s always traveling frequently for work, he gets to see many different places that he wants to see with you! he’ll specifically make note of the addresses and add them to this never-ending list in his note files — pet cafes, little lovely lakes where he thinks are perfect for picnics in the spring, absolutely anything at all that catches his eyes, he wants to experience with you and show you these lovely places too!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 one day, it’s an aquarium that catches his eyes in a stray pamphlet that he appraises while on the phone with you. when you tell him that no, you’ve never seen an aquarium before, he excitedly tells you that there’s one a few cities over that he’d love to take you to!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i dont think ive mentioned before, but kuroo takes his time and goes all out in courting you. he always brings you a gift whenever you go on your dates, be it jewelry or flowers, or a coffee that he picks up before coming to get you. this one’s such a gentleman too, he’ll always make his way over to open your car door for you, kissing you on your cheek and telling you how lovely you look.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 lem, he’s a sucker for you. such a big goof, but he’s smooth with it!! during your first dates, it did take you a while to open up to him, but mostly because you put so much of your intentions to learning about him and his life! you spent hours with each other while he told you about the friends he made in highschool, intense tournaments in volleyball and how he chose his current job. all the while, your eyes took in every detail of him that you could. sometimes tetsuro has to remind himself not to fall too deep into your gaze lest he never gets back up, but now? he’s utterly smitten. he really could spend forever just staring into your eyes.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 by this point, you’ve opened up a lot of yourself and your own crush morphs into something more comforting. there’s safety in the butterflies you get everytime you think of him and his crooked grin, in the banter and teasing jokes that you both share, even inside references that’s only meant for each other! it’s like the way a flower blossoms, the way your affections grow into love — it’s young and vibrant and beautiful.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 it’s safe to say he loves impressing you too! he’ll do research in preparation of the animals you’ll see so that he can tell you what he’s learned, all the while you both talk about yourselves and learn more about one another! he learns how your eyes crinkle whenever you laugh, as well as the songs you’ve been listening to on loop! he has the bright idea of making a shared playlist so that whenever he’s missing you, he can listen to the songs you add and feel warm when he hears them, all because it’s something that you enjoy that he now knows about.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 later in the evening, he’ll take you to a lovely beachside restaurant over which you’ll both share drinks and talk about different things in your life. what keeps you busy during the days, aspirations that you have for yourselves, and ultimately, about your affections too. he hadn’t given it to you right away when he first saw you, but he offers to you a beautiful promise ring while you’re walking the moonlit beach. he asks if you’d be his, tells you how much he loves the time he spends with you and that he always yearns for you when you’re apart; that you’ve invaded his heart and he dreams of you when he can’t see you.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s such a romantic, this one. a charmer. mr. smooth criminal. but all that smoothness goes away when you say “yes, i’d love for you to be my boyfriend, tetsu.” and instead all he feels is incredible, suffocating joy that he picks you up and spins you around, squeezing out laughter from you because, finally, he can call himself yours at last.

NSFW HEADCANONS

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i’m gonna say it again because this is the law when it comes to kuroo tetsuro. mr. romantic all the way, he’s so sweet with you.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he gives me soft dom vibes, but not even breaching dom because he’s so gentle and intentional with how he touches you and fucks you. i am a true believer in the fact that your faves worship you when they make love to you, and by god tetsuro is no exception.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he really can’t help but praising you everytime you’re intimate with him, loving the way his large hand sits pretty around your neck while he’s slowly splitting you apart. you always make him feel so desired and wanted, not shy about telling him how you want to feel him spreading your pussy around his cock. it drives him so insane that he loses bits of himself everytime

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he just can’t help it when you’re looking so ravenous beneath him, it’s like he painted you in this pure image of ecstasy and lust and its all because of him! its his name that you gasp while he’s deep inside of you, one hand softly squeezing around your throat while the other holds your thigh. he loves the way your pussy flutters and clenches around his dick. he’ll even press down on your tummy so that you’ll feel him hitting you just right, just so that he can watch the way tears well up in those pretty eyes of yours as you choke out cries of his name.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 “mhm? that feel good baby? you’re doin’ so good, taking my cock deep inside ya. that’s it, princess, fuck… makin’ me feel so good with this tight little pussy.” praise. lots and lots of praise.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he loves to rub your clit when he knows you’re close to cumming. always flattens out his fingers against your sensitive bud of nerves while he tells you to play with your nipples, loving the way your eyes lock on his all while you’re the perfect picture of lust underneath him.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 “gonna cum, baby? go on, want you to make a mess all over me… m’ not gonna stop till i fuck you senseless.”

mamba celebrates 100 — jjk and haikyuu selfship event!

#olympia.#aphrodite.#haikyuu smut #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu selfship #ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ lem!#im sorry i kept you waiting sweets :(#i hope this makes up for all this time!

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sylvienerevarine · 2 years ago

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premise for a fic: i channel my nostalgic emotions about the solstheim portion of skyrim into a fic about sophrine having those same emotions and also neloth is there

the fic: it's here now!

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Sophrine had every intention, upon entering Tel Mithryn, of being very calm, respectful, and composed. No matter that half her ancestors had lived on Solstheim, nor that she’d dreamed of seeing a mushroom tower her whole life and that somewhere deep down this felt like coming home. All her friends were hardened warriors, and she would not be soppy in front of them.

This intention lasted approximately thirty seconds, after which she burst into joyful tears as soon as the levitation ray set her down. The whole place was just as she’d imagined from her grandmother’s stories: the towering ceilings, the strange insect shells and herbs scattered about, even the grim-faced old Dunmer fellow in front of her.

“You must be Master Neloth,” she managed. “I’m Sophrine Aulette, from Skyrim by way of High Rock. You have a lovely home.”

“Young woman,” said Master Neloth sternly. He hadn’t been in bed, thank goodness (wizards probably studied all hours of the night). “You burst into my home in the middle of the night, trailing a group of vagrants…” He shot a glare at Sophrine’s friends, all of whom looked slightly nauseated from the trip up. “And then start weeping all over my supplies. Pray tell, do you have a purpose here, or are you some sort of emotion-atronach conjured to annoy me?”

“Oh, goodness, I’m sorry,” said Sophrine, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief. “I know I’m too sentimental, it’s one of my worst flaws. It’s just that I’ve spent so many years hearing stories about this island, and everything my family did here–and you! Not to mention a silt strider! I’ve always dreamed of meeting a silt strider. It’s all simply amazing.”

“Stories about me, is it?” Neloth replied. He looked rather flattered. “Has my fame spread far enough that Breton bumpkins are talking about me?”

Sophrine laughed. “As it happens, I’m only half Breton. I’ve also got a bit of Bosmer blood… from my great-great-grandmother, Sylvie.”

“Ah.” Neloth’s face softened. “You’re one of Sylvie’s brood, then. Always did wonder what became of her.”

“She died when I was a baby–though we’re not sure of the exact circumstances–so I never met her while she was alive,” said Sophrine. “But my relatives told me everything about her, and about Morrowind and Solstheim. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to finally be here.”

“Archmagister Sylvie,” said Neloth, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “Always liked that woman. Complete lunatic, of course, but she had gumption the like of which you don’t see anymore. Have I ever told you about the day she resigned?”

“We’ve only just met.”

“I’ll never forget that meeting,” Neloth went on, as though he hadn’t heard her. “After five hours of debate Sylvie leapt up onto the conference table, kicked a glass of wine into Baladas’ lap, and gave us all what for. Told us she’d spent years trying to make us see sense on slavery and poverty and the Mages’ Guild, and if we weren’t going to listen to a living saint then we could listen to our own farts for the rest of eternity. Stormed out of the room and that was that.”

“No!” Sophrine exclaimed. “Did you ever see her after that?”

“Oh, I ran into her a time or two on Solstheim, and a bit during the whole resettlement movement after the Red Year. She seemed happy enough with that useless Nord she married and her wee girl. But, times change, we drifted apart…never knew where she wound up after that.”

“Mum says she and her family went off traveling quite a bit,” said Sophrine. “The strangest places, all over the world. The last time any of us heard from her was after her husband died, more than a hundred years ago. She said she was off to properly explore Akavir because she’d made some very good friends there, and not to worry about her one bit. Then my granny Svenja got a letter decades later saying that Sylvie had passed away and she sent all of us her love.”

Neloth lowered his eyes. “My condolences.”

“Thank you. It’s not so bad, though, I still get to see her from time to time.”

The wizard looked up, startled. “You see her?”

“Oh, yes, though not very often. She sometimes shows up as a ghost during my hours of great need–it’s a deal she worked out with Azura. Being a Dragonborn does have some privileges. In fact…hold on, I’ve got an idea.” Sophrine dropped to her knees and let out a piteous wail. “Please, Nana Sylvie, appear to me! I’ve been attacked by dragon cultists and am being threatened by a horrible ancient sorcerer! My need is very great!”

For a moment, nothing happened at all. Then, to nearly everyone’s astonishment, the air behind Sophrine’s head began to ripple.

“That’s cheating, you know,” drawled a woman’s disembodied voice. “Azura’s going to have my head for this. But I simply can’t resist visiting old friends. Hello, Neloth darling! Keeping well?”

“Oh, gods,” said Neloth, shrinking away from the light. “Hello, Sylvie.”

#skyrim #morrowind #neloth #tes #my writing #oc: sophrine #ah this was fun

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dzpenumbra · 2 years ago

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12/27/22

It's 3:30 AM.

Today was... difficult.

It was going fine, then my mom called right after I got my delivery. I was a bit overwhelmed today, just... didn't really feel like going out and getting groceries the day after Christmas. Delivery is fine. And I kinda earned it, considering the only people who acknowledged I'm even alive on Christmas was my mom and my older brother who I barely talk with. So, in fighting the Christmas blues, I decided to treat myself.

It's a shame my food was cold. Because within 10 minutes of the conversation starting, she got insanely defensive. And again, so that I keep this journal about my shit and not others'... let's just say that we identified that it was a panic attack of one sort or another, but only after an hour of me being treated very roughly. And I did literally nothing. So, again, just trying to speak about my experience because I really feel uncomfortable talking about other peoples' shit. I'm struggling after it. I went from super energetic and really excited to take on a project... I have a bloodstone that I wanted to wire wrap tonight and maybe see if I can find other smaller pieces or some of the wooden beads to pair it with. It was gonna be a whole thing. After the conversation, I shit you not, I felt more tired than I did when I got back from skating the other day. Like I started nodding off. Not even remotely exaggerating.

I tried to watch some tutorials and videos to get myself inspired again, no dice. I have all my tools and the stone still out on my desk right now, like 5 hours later. This is how it goes for me. And for the past few years, it has been this several times a week. Every week. It has disabled me. Like... I have my own issues on top of this, right? I'm single and in my mid-30's, I've never really been in a healthy relationship to the point where I'm terrified to get into one because I'm afraid I won't be able to tell if it's unhealthy, or even know how to walk away from it if I realize it is. I have no official work history over the past... almost 10 years, nothing documented. I've never paid taxes and at this point, I'm afraid to ask how. I have no friends, the only friends I had were kinda just using me to brag and flex their interests or whatever, treating me like a show-off older brother or something, literally none of them looked up to me, admired me or asked for my advice on shit, and the kicker? I am like 5-6 years older than all of them. I just moved, alone, in winter. I have like no furniture, I had to part with a very big portion of my personal possessions (aka my memories). My cat is sick. Like... I've got enough on my plate, right? XD Then I just get the shit kicked out of me and... it just knocks me out. Then I get like one or two days of recovery and - if I'm lucky - positivity... Then I get kicked right down again.

What happens is... the acute stuff like what happened to day is much more bold and underlined so it gets all of my energy and attention to recover from it. And recovery requires low-energy expenditure, rest. So the rest of my life shit ends up neglected. Stray hairs start piling up in the bathroom. Cardboard boxes pile up in the living room. Trash and dishes start piling up. That trip into town gets put off another week, until I feel like I have the emotional fortitude to brave the public world alone again. And they all grow and grow and grow. And when you're going alone, and all your problems just continually grow, you only have the energy reserves and resources of one person to face these things. So it's gonna take a long-ass time. It's like you're peeling ivy off of the walls of your brick house before the ivy consumes it and tears it apart, but you can only peel it back one leaf per day. And you pray you have the energy to outpace it. Like the slowest neck-and-neck race in history. Like two snails on a racetrack with a photo finish. It's such a shit feeling.

And for years, I have been telling people - verbatim - "you have no idea how much of an impact literally any assistance with just everyday shit would make in my life." And people just... don't really process it, I guess. Maybe they think I'm bullshitting to like... "trick them" into doing my dishes for me? That's my best guess, something suspicious, right? What they really don't realize - and let me be really clear, the majority of these "they" in this context were mental health professionals, okay? - what they don't realize is that helping me, or helping me find someone to help me, with these everyday things... to help peel back the ivy... Where I have only enough spare energy (because I'm healing and recovering), they have enough energy for like... a foot-long branch. And it's like, nothing to them. And the impact that would make in my life would be like... buying me two weeks of time to recover. For like... no cost to them.

But every fucking time. Every fucking time. Denied. Evaded. Excused as like... "teaching me how to do it myself", as though I don't know how to wash dishes or pay bills or fill out a resume. Fuck, I could probably do that shit better than them!

I'm actually getting stressed out hearing myself vent about this. I'm walking away from this line of thought. I want to curl up under the comforter with my cat and listen to generic boring piano music and smell the essential oil diffuser with some weird sweet fruity oil that can't possibly be Bamboo and Teak, but is labeled as that. And try my best to reset my mental vibes so I don't end up in a surreal hellscape the second my conscious mind goes into recharge-mode.

So... let me get a head-start, since I'm heading right there. Good vibes. Hmm... Well, I witnessed my mom have a breakthrough today. And as hard as that is, and scary as that is, and how big the cost was... it was really important, and memorable. And I hope it lasts. And I hope she gets the help she needs to be the happy person she deserves to be. She has earned being happy. She still has work to get there, but she has support from a veteran who has been in the trenches full-time for over 5 years. And she got the ball rolling with Betterhelp, she's just looking for someone closer to her age to make her more comfortable... and that's super important in therapy. You have to feel comfortable talking about what you're dealing with. So, I really fucking hope she gets a good match soon.

Ugh, do I have better vibes than that? I polished a piece of smoky quartz tonight, it's almost completely transparent, that was pretty cool. And dinner wasn't bad. And I had a cookie, that was pretty good. You know what. Okay, here it is. I listened to Coheed and Cambria's In Keeping Secrets album in the shower today. That was my album when I was in high school. They were 100% my favorite band back then. And just singing along in a falsetto at like... metered volume so the neighbors wouldn't hear me too loud? That sensation brought me back to a period of like... at least 5 years of some of the most creative and personal growth of my entire life. It brought me right back. And I have been avoiding nostalgia for a while because... trauma... and yeah, just getting freaked out about getting old. Like Coheed is basically classic rock now. Which is so fucking weird to me. Like that Coheed album came out in like 2002 I think, something like that. So that equivalent today... would be an album that came out in 1982 back then. So, like... back then the oldest thing I was listening to that was like... "cool" was probably Master of Puppets by Metallica, and I wasn't like... huge into Metallica, I actually wasn't really a big fan, but I had a lot of important memories attached to that album. My fencing teacher used to play it when we would practice and warm up, it was very energizing and nostalgic. So I guess this album is like that for people today. It's really hard to process that. Like, time is really hard for me to process in general, but like... just the idea that so much time has passed. I just don't have the words.

Anyway, I looked over at my guitar when I said "You know what." My acoustic, to be specific. Delilah. She's the same guitar I had in college. I got her as a Christmas gift (I think) in... 2005, maybe? She's been to both coasts. She kept me company when my bandmate invited me to drive 2.5 hours down to visit him in his dorm room during summer break and he got drunk and invited a chick over for the night and I slept 2 hours on his common room couch while he presumably banged this not very attractive young woman, then once the sun came up, spent a good chunk of the morning out in the courtyard chainsmoking with Delilah and playing until my fingers couldn't move. She was my go-to break when me and my friend Aimee were sharing her art studio to pull all-nighters to finish our projects. She kept me company when my drug-dealing (figured that out after the fact, I thought it was just weed and like occasional recreational pills) roommate threatened my life because I played the drums in the house when I thought no one was home, and he and his girlfriend were in the next room skipping class because they were detoxing off of heroin. Delilah and I spent the whole night laying on the floor of the painting studio practicing Laser Speed by Between the Buried and Me over and over and over until we had to hide in the bathroom to dodge getting kicked out by security, because I was too scared to go back to the house and had nowhere else to go. She has a sticker on her from a local mexican food chain that went out of business like 3 years ago. XD I love her a lot. And I think I'm going to spend a little time playing some music before bed to reset the vibes. I'm glad I looked over there, these are hard memories, but we survived. And we're stronger for it. And no matter how dark shit got in my life, she always helped me find a way to make something beautiful out of it. <3

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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whosscruffylooking · 4 years ago

Text

The Purest Things-Jack

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Warnings: Nothing. Pure fluff.

Word Count: 1.1k

a/n: a short one but cute one :)

au! november 2007

the purest things masterlist

au! november 2007

Bookend: The innocence of children is what makes them stand out as a shining example to the rest of Mankind. — Kurt Chambers

Everything in your house has slumbered beneath silken dust, awaiting the day that a fresh wind would polish it clean. The past two months were filled with cases that kept you on the go. At last, there was a lull that allowed your team to have a few off days. So, you invited everyone over for a small dinner party at your house.

Running over to the stove to stir the bubbling sauce, you glance at the clock on the microwave and see that people will be arriving at any time. Right on time, the doorbell rings.

You skip over to the door and are met with the glowing faces of Penelope, Derek, and David. "Come in!" You exclaim as they wipe their feet on the doormat. Looping your arm around David's, you walk him to the kitchen, "Don't be too hard on me now. I am no artist of cuisine, but I give it my best when I go all out."

He glances at the dishes you've prepared, taking a wooden spoon and tasting your sauce, "My child, you are a prodigy! I must refine your ways: next Saturday, you and me, a lesson in Italian cuisine." "It's a date," you chirp.

Another chime of the doorbell alerts you to more visitors. "I got it," you shout behind you as you stroll to the door. On the other side of the door is Spencer, JJ, Hotch, and a little boy gripping his hand. Jack.

"Why hello there," you kneel to meet him at his level. He smiles a crooked half-smile, leaning against Aaron's leg. "Say hi," he squeezes Jack's shoulder. Instead of responding, he pulls out of his father's grasp and wobbles into the foyer. His little knees are like hinges, slowly but surely hoisting his toddler body further into the house. You can't help but giggle at how awkward his movements are, a feeling of warmth overcoming you because of the undeniable cuteness.

Lifting yourself off the ground, you greet your guests and welcome them inside.

"How old is Jack?" You ask Aaron.

"He turned two last month," he beams while admiring his young son.

"He looks like you."

"He's his mother through and through." ++++ You search for Jack and find him in the hallway, bouncing and clapping his hands as if listening to music in his mind. Unable to hide your smile, you catch the attention of David and Aaron, who stand in the foyer.

"She's taken a liking to Jack," David notes.

Aaron does not verbally respond, but his hint of a grin signals Rossi to his feelings on the matter.

Jack trips over to you, his moves formed out of chaos and not by any scientific behavior that even the great Spencer Reid could explain. You giggle as he stumbles onto the floor next to you. "Hey," you whisper playfully, "I need help finishing dinner. Why don't you come help me, and we can keep you out of trouble." Reaching your arms out to Jack, you offer to carry him into the kitchen. His words run into one another and are entirely incomprehensible.

"I'll take that as a yes," you scoop him into your arms and place him on the kitchen counter. Handing him some noodles to play with, you keep him occupied.

"She's great with him too," David nods.

Aaron doesn't need David to tell him that, though. He is observing it all for himself. His life was turned upside down when he became a father. Aaron had been blessed with a son. And along with that son came a sacred duty, to raise him in a life filled with love and protection. He knows that he has made some poor choices and has failed to prioritize his son in certain life aspects. However, he refuses to make those same mistakes again.

Aaron has to navigate this new role as a "single" parent all alone, though. He can contact Haley when necessary, but he wants to create a safe little bubble for Jack to come to when with him. Aaron doesn't have a family as Haley does. They are estranged from one another. The BAU team is the closest thing he has to family now. And here you are, the newest member, solidifying your role in this family and now your position in Aaron and Jack's. ++++ With the table set, dishes served, and everyone seated, you begin your feast. Jack insisted on sitting next to you, and you willingly obliged him. Aaron sits on the opposite side of his son, feeding him small portions of food that he can easily chew.

Jack starts to bounce up and down on his bottom; his eyes are wide, and his mouth already partly open. He is eyeing the spaghetti that wraps around your fork. When the first food goes into your mouth, he has a slightly crestfallen look but then starts his celebratory bounce again as his father draws his attention back to his tiny bites.

"Aaron?"

He looks up at you, "Yes?"

"How about I feed Jack so that you can eat your dinner?"

"No, you should eat."

"I've been taste-testing this meal all day. Please, enjoy it."

He agrees and hands you the spoon. For the remainder of dinner, you fly each scoop like an airplane into Jack's little mouth. ++++ As everyone prepares to leave, Aaron lingers...a slumbering little boy in his arms.

"Did you forget something in the house," you question, "One of Jack's toys?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I just wanted to thank you for preparing dinner, hosting us all in your home, and somehow managing to give Jack the time of his life tonight."

"It was my pleasure. And hanging with Jack? That was the icing on top of the cake for me," you softly pat Jack's back so as not to wake him.

Parting ways, you say goodnight to one another. You watch from the front doorstep as Aaron straps Jack into his car seat. He waves at you one last time as he gets into the passenger seat. Fondly, you wave back to him. There is so much to admire about that man. The thought of the Hotchner boys alarmingly keeps you up all night.

Sleeplessness is a part of your job, but at least tonight, you aren't restless because of the nightmares or the vivid images from cases that haunt your mind. No, you are awake because your heart is full. Fullness, an unfamiliar feeling that has been taking root in your heart since you joined the BAU. A feeling that you pray never disappears.

tag list 🏷

@agentaaronhotass @averyhotchner @britishspidey @cat11-2 @cecemariee7302 @chazubagi @chellybear98 @clairedragonessbaker @cpt-cevans @destiny-tsukino @frogrrylovebot @gubs-boobs @halloweenwithreid @hopelesslylosttheway @hothskies @infinte_tides @joyclubie @junoscorner @kenzies-mr-j @kyliesalvatore @mac99martin @mcntsee @megans-txmblr @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @peachyotps @prettylittlemoonlight @ptrs-prkrs @purpledragonturtles @ravenmoore14 @softhetixx @spaghetti-dad187 @spencerreidsoulmate @ssagube @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sweetiecake180 @theoldestguard @timelesstay @totalmess191 @vampiracontessa @wanniiieeee @weexinling @yoshigguk

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hillariat · 4 years ago

Text

Bubbline fanfic rec list

I did it. I made a master rec list of good Bubbline fanfics. Will keep updating this until I leave the fandom.

Grouped by setting (eg. Highschool AU, AT universe, Family AU etc.) in alphabetical order. They’re all romantic bubbline unless stated otherwise. This is a living document so I’ll be updating it every now and then with new fics and stuff. For any questions, changes or additions, please feel free to pm me on reddit/tumblr @hillariat

*SMUT = A significant portion of the fic is dedicated to SMUT

*some SMUT= A part of the fic has explicit smut, but it isn't a major part of the story

*UwU=personal faves

calamitous love

Author: lexaproeighty

Setting: Astronaut AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 1,173

Tags: Fluff, emotionally stupid PB.

Summary: Author’s summary: bonnie's in her feelings. oh, and about to go into space.

what was missing

Author: spookyscaryskeletons (Buttons15)

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 8,678

Tags: Fluff, emotionally constipated PB.

Summary: Honestly the most solid, canon compliant take on their relationship. I loved this shit and half my headcanons are from here.

Author’s summary: In which Bonnie has feelings, she does, but feelings are hard and complicated and she rather ignore them until they punch her in the face.

Let you Lead

Author: purplebutterflies

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 1,225

Tags: Fluff, Mild comedy,Marceline being an idiot

Summary: Marceline being a useless gay and Bonnie taking the lead. Writing gets better after the inciting incident, trust me.

After UwU

Author: 61wisampa

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 23,888

Tags: Major character death, Grieving, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Moving On, Friendship

Summary: This shit be an intense feels trip yo. Like an "I stayed up ‘til 6am" kind of intense. I had to reread this fic twice in order to emotionally process everything. It definitely isn't your average bubbline angst.

Author’s summary: It was hard, having someone similar yet different. It kept Marceline stuck walking along the line that prevented her from moving on.

Everybody Knows Your Name

Author: Sunshine18

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 8,671

Tags: Exes, Discussion of past abuse, past Ash being an asshole, pre-bubbline

Summary: Solid exploration of PB and Marcy as exes and how they started becoming "civil" post breakup. References to major events in early AT and how PB and Marcy were affected. Can be read independently of “Contact�� even though it is a sequel of that.

Bitter Sugar UwU

Author: QueenOfTheRevue (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Discontinued | 72,000

Tags: Political drama, Arranged marriage, Political Conspiracy, fantasy

Summary:The plot's so intense it deserves to be in a goddamn Kdrama. Literally never read anything else like it in the fandom. A well done, intense drama set in a unique political landscape. Hybrid democratic monarchies, Age old conspiracies, fandom references, Marceline in military uniform, c'mon just read it!.

Musicology series

Author: CountingWithTurkeys

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 625,723 (as of 06/02/2021)

Tags: Canon compliant, angst, fluff, mindfuckery, sociopathic people, some SMUT

Summary: Set in a possible but not probable AT universe. Darker and heavier overall tone. It's the kind of fic that will give your brain a workout. Dysfunctional Bubbline that becomes healthier. Solid portrayal of dysfunction with a believable interpretation of PB and Marcy

Author: deltau

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 7,004

Tags: Fluff, SMUT, virtual reality, shapeshifting

Summary: Bonnie gets her VR machine working and the couple delves into the realm of Marcy's mind. Bonnie makes some pleasant discoveries and afterwards they have some fun time.

Our perfect disease

Author: JupiterDelphinus

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 112,000

Tags: Non-chronological, anthology, some SMUT, fluff, hurt/comfort, canon divergent

Summary: Past, present and future scenes from the pair. Tone and ratings (G to EXPLICIT) vary according to the chapter. Each chapter is a self contained narrative that helps build the overarching Bubbline story. Very cute, very uwu feels.

Apples after Midnight series

Author: Xekstrin

Setting: AT universe

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 18,565

Tags: SMUT, feels, fluff

Summary: Starts off smutty but then has a lot of feels. Has a legitimate exes romance plot.

The One Where There's No Gunther

Author: ijemanja (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: Coffee Shop AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 8,899

Tags: Comedy, Fluff

Summary: Has very good AT-esque dialogue.I can actually imagine the characters saying the lines.

Author's summary: All are welcome at the Coffee Kingdom, even pain in the ass vampire queens. (No Ice Kings, though.)

Double Sugar, Extra Whip

Author: amphitrite

Setting: Coffee Shop AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 4,067

Tags: College, Fluff

Summary: Classic coffee shop AU. Think a Vanilla latte. You know what you're getting

Palpitations

Author: ValhallaKoala

Setting: Coffee Shop AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 6,298

Tags: Comedy, College, Adorable af

Summary: Author's summary: Black coffee tastes just as good as a caramel macchiato, right? Right!?

Bonnibel is socially inept and makes some questionable decisions.

Viscosity UwU

Author: The Denominator

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 9,049

Tags: Feels, non-chronological, sexual references

Summary: College AU but definitely not a classic college AU. It's one of a kind, makes you feel

C's get degrees

Author: megapidgeots

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 102,550

Tags: Comedy, fluff, feels, just college roomies getting along

Summary: Classic College AU, you get what you see.

Author's summary: Bonnie has just started her first year of University, and finds she has a mostly neutral-verging-on-hesitantly-positive opinion of her new roommate, Marceline.

Cliché

Author: Abadeerly (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 67,493 (06/02/2021)

Tags: Comedy, fluff

Summary:College AU but you try to cram as many tropes in as possible. It's fun

Five.

Author: Abadeerly (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 7,883

Tags: Fluff

Author’s summary:The other woman hesitated, eyes doing that thing where they narrowed and seemingly judged Bonnibel for existing, and then she sighed. “I don’t hate you,” She murmured and Bonnibel felt a weird feeling of what felt like relief come over her.

Escort

Author: breeeliss

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 21,058

Tags: SMUT, sexual tension, teasing, build up

Summary: Marcy is a tease and Bonnie is a thot.

Show and Tell

Author: Abadeerly (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 1,527 (as of 06/02/2021)

Tags: soon to be SMUT, Camgirl, toys, strong sexual references

Summary: Character interactions (so far) are adorable and endearing. Really makes you ship them

Entry 38 UwU

Author: deltau

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 5,969

Tags: SMUT, sad feels, strap-on, car sex

Summary: Smut and sad feels

Happy Birthday, Kitten

Author: Abadeerly (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: College Party AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 3,030

Tags: SMUT, car sex, praise kink, Top! Bonnie

Summary: Cop Bonnie and Party girl Marcy. That is all. Come get your Top! Bonnie smut

Coincidence

Author: mellish

Setting: College AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 5,932

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Break up, Sad ending

Summary: “It’s like holding a test tube and not knowing what’s inside it, not knowing how much damage will be done if it breaks apart.” Traces their relationship from beginning to end. Has my fave ending line of all fics on this list.

Groupies Wanna Get Fucked

Author: Abadeerly (on both Ao3 and FFN)

Setting: Concert, human AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 4,973

Tags: SMUT

Summary: Author's summary: Bonnibel's NOT a groupie. Except, she is because this is smut. Enjoy! :)

Chemistry

Author: laurenjauregui (Ao3) / we4retheincrowd (FFN)

Setting: Concert, human AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 2,784

Tags: First meeting

Summary: Very cute character interaction. Short and sweet.

40 Weeks

Author: Plesiosaur

Setting: Family AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 221,000

Tags: Pregnancy, Cavity inducing fluff, Slice of life, sexual references

Summary: Domestic grown adult bubbline? Check. Hella extra know it all Bonnie? Check. Snarky Marcy? Check. Some deep feels and backstory? Check. Tooth rotting bubbline fluff? Check. Why the hell aren't you reading this?? This story is really good, starts slow but really picks up after like chapter 12

Pray for the Preacher's daughter UwU

Author: reliquiaen (Ao3) / ArcaFeretory (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 232,197

Tags: Slow burn

Summary:THE fic for the Bubbline fandom. Its the fic that everyone knows and recommends and for good reason. Strong execution of the Punk x Goody two shoes formula.Just... read it if you’d read HS AUs

Anonymous UwU

Author: laurenjauregui (Ao3) / we4retheincrowd (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 229,681 (as of 27/03/2021)

Tags: Slow burn, fluff, TW for abuse

Summary:The second coming of Pray for the preacher's daughter. JK. Seriously though it's a good slow burn with quality that is as good, if not better than, Pray for the preacher's daughter. The bubbline duo in this fic are just,, pure. So pure I can feel the cavities. Also the author updates every week (as of 6/02/2021)

High School Confidential

Author: gloss

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 1,085

Tags: Fluff, Flirting

Summary: Marceline never gets too attached to one place or person. In fact, it's probably for the best because her family constantly moves from place to place like nomads. She might stick around this time though. Cute interactions and flirting.

Variants

Author: laurenjauregui (Ao3) / we4retheincrowd (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 4,918

Tags: Fluff

Author’s summary:Every species has its variants. Bonnie's just trying to figure out which ones are good and which ones are bad.

A love like war

Author: laurenjauregui (Ao3) / we4retheincrowd (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 433,715

Tags: Slow burn

Summary: Bonnie moves from New York to some tiny af town in the middle of nowhere. She is not happy.

Different UwU

Author: laurenjauregui (Ao3) / we4retheincrowd (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Discontinued | 25,022

Tags: Cavity inducing sweet Fluff, Autism, discrimination

Summary: Very sweet and fluffy. Like an I will need to go to the dentist level fluff. Characterisation is a bit OOC but it's a very well written piece. I would send this to people who aren't in the fandom and say it's an original piece. It's that good.It ends off in a good place too.

Tourniquet

Author: alizarin_scribbles

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 7,883

Tags: Mutual Pining, Angst, Sad ending

Summary: Star crossed lovers that were so close.

Author’s summary: How they were now was normal enough, not too intimate or indifferent in any respect. Back then, their relations simply didn't have any room for change. Now, Bonnie couldn't help but wonder exactly how such casual acquaintanceship had led to the ghostlike fire currently trickling through her veins.

Glandular Fever

Author: reliquiaen (Ao3) / ArcaFeretory (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete |3,740

Tags: Comedy, Fluff

Summary: Author's summary: In which I bundled all the awkward situations I could into a oneshot... and then made them worse.

the secret admirer

Author: laurenjauregui (Ao3) / we4retheincrowd (FFN)

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete |4,724

Tags: Fluff, tooth rotting fluff, Bonnie being a disaster, Marceline being soft

Summary: Author’s summary: #ohsconfession220: To the girl who always hangs out in the library with the red hair and round glasses and freckles i think you’re the cutest person i’ve ever seen pls date me

Bonnie has a secret admirer... and she kind of hates it.

Will You Sign My Cast?

Author: bigpinkbaguette

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing |22,122

Tags: Angst, slowburn, childhood friends, enemies to lovers

Summary: The slow burn that hurts so, so much. Otherwise known as Bonnie is too emotionally constipated to deal with the baggage she has with Marceline.

Slacker

Author: CandiedSweets

Setting: Highschool AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing |36,806

Tags: Fluff, angst, Bonnie being the most useful gay ever, Useless gay Marceline

Summary: *gasps, a multi-chapter high school AU that isn't a slowburn?! Yep you heard right!

Author’s summary: Marceline’s missed a few days of school and a certain pink haired classmate brings her the work she’s missed, but accidentally finds out something about her in the process.

Bass Guitars and Grandad's Ashes

Author: LastOneFromHometown

Setting: Road trip AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 41,448 (as of 27/03/2021)

Tags: Comedy, feels, trippy af, slight angst

Summary: Somehow makes even a funeral comedic. Has a very wild and funny charm to it whilst still having moments of feels. Trippy af, really has some AT vibes in it. Fun read.

Hooligans on the Highway

Author: Valverbek

Setting: Road trip AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 13,123 (as of 27/03/2021)

Tags: Comedy, fluff, established relationship

Summary: A lighthearted and fun read about the gang going on a road trip for Finn’s 21st. Cute & chaotic vibes.

Slaughterhouse UwU

Author: Plesiosaur

Setting: Serial Killer AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 6,846

Tags: Murder, police, gore

Summary: Who'd be the best match for our beloved serial killer? Why, another psycho of course. One of my personal favorites

The Prolific Works of the Arctic Butcher

Author: HaveFunStormingTheCastle

Setting: Working adults AU

Status | Wordcount: Ongoing | 40,627 (as of 27/03/2021)

Tags: angst, feels, exes, murder mystery,serial killer, slow burn, reunions

Summary: Bonnibel is the mayor of Kingdom city. When seemingly unconnected and unsolved murders begin popping up left and right, Bonnie starts doing her own investigations, believing that there may be more than meets the eye. Somehow that brings her on a collision course with Marceline, successful rockstar extraordinaire and her ex. Circumstances force them both to examine their shared past and revisit the destruction they each left in their wake as they investigate a sinister killer with seemingly devious intentions for them both.

There she is (Or what to do when your ex is back in town)

Author: durantesknight

Setting: Working adults AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 11,586

Tags: Exes, feels

Summary: A fascinating translation of the Bubbline relationship into a modern setting. This shit legit got me feeling.

Author's summary: Its been seven years since the last time Bonnie and Marceline saw each other, things weren't okay back then, they're not better now.

40 Weeks prequel series (can be read independently of each other and 40 weeks) :

Author: Plesiosaur

Setting: Working adults AU

1)This Could Be The Start Of Something

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 8,214

Tags: Graduation, first meeting, mild homophobia, anaphylaxis

Summary:Marceline and Jake crash a graduation party for free drinks. An ambulance was called.

2)To Fall, Gently And Otherwise

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 4,628

Tags: Fluff

Author's summary: Set between chapters one and two of This Could Be The Start Of Something. After three years of sharing an apartment Marceline really should know better than to take Jake's date advice.

3)Counterpoint

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 3,065

Tags: Hurt/comfort, intellectual rivalry, differing opinions on alternative medicine, historical character death, feels

Author's summary: Even the most perfect couples can clash when they believe in fundamentally different things. But is Bonnie ready to swallow her pride and apologize even when she thinks she's in the right?

First and Last

Author: Plesiosaur

Setting: Working adults AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 15,351

Tags: hurt/comfort, feels, family, repressed gay

Summary: Just....intense feels

Orion

Author: NightBearrors

Setting: Working adults AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 8,750

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, feels, exes, ambiguous end

Summary: Their reunion was like a tangent, colliding once only to depart again.

Dough

Author: ArrowOvis

Setting: Working adults AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 1707

Tags: angst, feels, exes, implied rape

Summary: Author summary: Dough can be a lot of things - wet, dry, fluffy, flat, pre-mixed, under-mixed...a lot. But most importantly, it can be shaped into something it wasn't before. Whether that is a good or a bad thing, only time can tell.

Alternatively titled: Bonnibel Buchman got screwed over and doesn't deal with it well.

Stripped

Author: Asharyn

Setting: Working adults AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 14,708

Tags: Fluff, some SMUT

Summary: Where Bonnie be whipped for Marcy. And vice versa. Honestly, just fluff and smut stripper AU.

End Of The World

Author: Plesiosaur

Setting: Zombie Apocalypse AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 3,465

Tags: Death, Gore, feels

Summary: zombie apocalypse AUs are basically non-existent for this ship, so here's a good one.

Experiments

Author: spookyscaryskeletons (Buttons15)

Setting: Zombie Apocalypse AU

Status | Wordcount: Complete | 9,194

Tags: Death, Gore, feels,angst

Summary: If you’ve ever wanted to read a zombie AU written by an actual doctor this is it. It's good. Set in The Last of Us (TLOU) universe though you can go into this without knowing anything about TLOU and still have a good experience.

#bubbline #princess bubblegum #marceline #adventure time #fanfic #fanfic rec

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mischief-managed-snitches · 4 years ago

Text

Obispo Losa

Part two of Obispo and Lily. I have so many ideas for this and I'm so excited to try them out! Thank you all for the love and encouragement!

Warnings: Swearing, Angst

As always, I do not own anything Mayans related. I do own my character and her story.

My first language is English. I do know some Spanish but I am not fluent. I will be keeping the Spanish in this story to a minimum to avoid butchering a beautiful language.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

"You said that last time, Leti."

"I know and I'm really sorry about what happened, but I swear nothing like that would ever go down here. The guys wouldn't allow it."

"I don't know, Leti..."

"Come on! Bishop has been asking about you. He wants to see you."

"He said that?"

"...In so many words."

"Leti!"

"He has been asking about you! 'how's your friend, Leticia? How's her arm? Have you seen her today?" Leti dropped her voice to mimic the low bravado that was Bishop's voice.

"He did not ask you all that!"

"He did!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Lily!"

"Okay, what time is this party?"

"Uhh the guys have a meeting and then we usually party afterwards. Maybe like eight o'clockish? I'll text you the address."

"Sounds good."

"Oh and Lily, wear something slu-"

Click.

Lily tapped the red button quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of that sentence. She would wear whatever she wanted and it would not be to impress any man. Or so she thought, until the clock ticked 7:30 and she was buzzing around her bedroom, ripping open drawers and rifling through her closet like a mad woman. Swearing under her breath, Lily's frustration mounted as nothing seemed to fit right.

Lily was a bit curvier than most women, especially her friend Leti. Borrowing an outfit from her would be out of the question and some how everything in Lily's closet just seemed wrong. Blowing out an annoyed puff of air, Lily looked back over her clothes, trying not to be so critical. Bishop probably wouldn't even notice, not with all his friends around. Or so she hoped...

Gravel crunched under her tires as Lily turned off the road and into the driveway of what looked like some kind of auto mechanic business. A sign for oil changes and tire rotations hung out front, welcoming visitors into what looked like a run down garage. Random cars sat around, looking like they were falling apart or maybe just scrap pieces for other projects. A house sat connected to the garage, a porch welcomed any visitors and a large fire pit sat in front of its steps with a few picnic tables dotted around.

Parking her car off to the side, Lily wondered if she had the wrong address. Eyeing the row of motorcycles, she changed her mind. This had to be right.

Lily stepped out of her car just as the front door opened. A man she recognized immediately stepped out. Black hair buzzed close to his head, thin mustache, thick muscled arms. Oh yeah, she remembered him. He had steadied her when the guy had shoved her and then later, Leti had hugged him like they were best friends.

Lily offered him a smile, noting the way his leather vest differed slightly from the others she had seen. "Hi, I'm Lily, Leti invited me?"

"Yeah, hi, EZ."

"Wait, what?"

"Ezekiel Reyes, EZ for short." He grinned, "nice to meet you Lily." His eyes seemed to twinkle in the fading light. Somewhere in her mind she knew instantly that he was someone she could trust and with that realization a portion of her nervousness evaporated. EZ met her at the bottom of the porch steps, shaking her hand gently.

"Nice to meet you too." She couldn't help but return his smile, it was infectious.

"Leticia's inside, you can head on in, I'm going to start a fire." EZ jerked his head toward the door.

"Thank you!" Lily stepped inside, looking around at the unusual decor. A large statue of Saint Mary stood by the door, various framed pictures hung on the walls and the furniture looked like hand-me-downs from an array of different homes with different styles. The place was definitely decorated by men. Lily laughed to herself, smile growing as she spotted her friend across the room. Though the place was dimly lit, Lily could plainly see Leticia working hard behind the bar. Her hands moved quickly, preparing drinks, or food, or both. Glancing up as Lily shut the door, Leticia let out a squeal.

"You made it!"

"I did!"

"Yay! Get over here and help me prep this stuff! The guys will be out any minute."

"Out?" Lily dropped her purse on the bar stool at the end before walking around the bar. As expected, there was a mini kitchen set-up back there. Fridge, stove, microwave, sink, what little counter Lily could see was covered in random food items. Everything from salsa and chips to hot dogs and hamburgers sat before them.

"Yeah, they had a meeting tonight, but it should be over soon." She nodded in the direction of a rusted sliding door. "They'll grill the meat for us, but I like to have the sides and stuff ready to go a while."

"Okay," Lily wasn't sure what kind of meeting she meant, but it didn't matter anyway. She was too busy trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach to ask anything else. Leti handed her a knife and a bowl of peppers, instructing her to chop them up.

Lily had just finished the bowl and was washing her hands when a metallic screech filled the. Lifting her eyes as the door rolled open, Lily watched as the first few guys stepped through. One broke away from the rest, smiling at her as he plopped himself on the nearest bar stool.

"What's up, how are you?"

"Good, thank you, better than when we first met."

"Glad to hear it!" He swiped a stand of black hair away from his face, smiling at her warmly.

"Lily, this is my dad, Coco."

Lily felt her brows raise, surprised by the information. He looked so young, more like a brother than a father. She didn't comment on it though, instead, she smiled, offering her hand, "nice to meet you, Coco. Thanks for helping out the other night."

"Nahh, that was all Bish. We were just back up if things popped off."

"Sounds like they did later!" Leti jumped in.

"Yeah! Heard Bish broke that pendejo's nose!"

"Serves him right!" Lily stayed quiet, smiling as Leti and Coco continued talking. They really did act a lot alike and the resemblance in their faces was uncanny.

Eyes flicking to the doorway again, Lily was surprised by the amount of disappointment that washed through her.

"Bish is still at the table. Thinking things through I guess." Coco supplied, meeting her eyes with a knowing smile. Lily blushed, nodding as she looked down at her hands.

"Why don't you take him a beer? Tell him the meats on the grill?" Leti suggested, elbowing her gently.

"Yeah, that ones his favorite." Coco leaned across the bar, pointing to one of the many bottles they had just uncapped for the guys.

"Do you think that would be okay?" Lily asked awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other.

"As long as he's not talking business with anyone, he shouldn't care." Coco shrugged, taking a bottle for himself.

Lily nodded again, grabbing the bottle he had pointed to and striding confidently across the room. Her bravery didn't last long though. By the time she was standing in the door way her anxiety was back in full swing. The coast was clear, no one else was with him.

He sat alone, smoking a cigarette, papers laying in front of him. The room was dark, one single light hung overhead, casting a soft glow over Bishop's chair. He looked like a king sitting in the spotlight. His bulky frame illuminated against the dark of the room.

It's now or never.

Lily cleared her throat, stepping into the room hesitantly, praying he wouldn't throw her back out. He looked deep in thought and extremely tired, probably not in the mood to chit chat. This was a bad idea. Lily berated herself. What made her think this was a good plan?

Bishop's head lifted, cigarette nearly falling out of his mouth as he realized who was joining him. Her breath caught in her throat as he looked at her. Dark eyes fell all the way to her feet, taking in a pair of blood-red heels before dragging slowly up her body to land on her face. The black dress she'd chosen clung to her body in way that she hoped was flattering and not accenting her every bump and roll. She shifted on her feet, suddenly questioning her decision to wear this outfit. That was... Until she watched his tongue poke out of his mouth, wetting his lips almost nervously. Dropping his cigarette into a nearby ash tray, Bishop stood up, almost toppling his chair with his hastiness.

"Lily?"

"Hi, Obispo." She smiled, heat rising to her cheeks as he stared openly at her. "I umm... Brought you a drink." She lifted the bottle, stepping closer to hold it out to him. She swallowed hard as he walked around the table, wrapping his hand around the neck of the bottle, grazing her fingers as he took it.

"Thank you." His mustache lifted as he smiled at her, eyes twinkling with something she couldn't place. "Am I drinking alone?" He spoke teasingly, lifting the beer to his lips and taking a slow sip.

Lily watched his throat work as he swallowed it, clocked the way his plush lips pressed against the glass. Clearing her throat again, Lilly took a step back. "I-I don't really drink, but I uh... I wanted to let you know the meats on the grill a- and the food will be ready soon."

"Thank you," he said again with that same smile on his lips. He was amused by her awkwardness, finding her stammering cute. He liked this kind of nervousness, jitters brought on by attraction and not fear. Seeing her retreat another step, Bishop pushed off the table where he was previously leaning. "You don't have to go."

"I should help Leti with the rest of the stuff." Lily jerked a thumb over her shoulder, stumbling as she bumped into a chair.

"Watch that, querida." Bishop gave her a lopsided smile, taking one long step forward, the urge to be closer to her guiding his feet.

"Yeah..." Lily took another step back, tripping over another chair in the process. This time she couldn't catch herself, she was too shaken, too flustered. Bishop lunged forward, wrapping an arm around her waist before she could fall.

He pulled her upright, tugging her against his chest, steadying her with one hand all while holding his beer with the other. The little gasp that left her lips had his heart stuttering in his chest. "Easy does it, querida." His breath fanned her face, his voice low and soft.

He smelled of cigarettes and leather and a hint of spearmint. His hand laid heavy on her back, fingers splayed wide, each one burning a hole through the material of the dress. He was warm and tall and all hard planes where she was short and soft, fitting perfectly against his broad chest. Lily's small hands pressed to his stomach, torn between pushing him away and letting him hold her.

"Bish..." It was soft and breathy and effecting him in way that was completely inappropriate for only talking to her twice.

"I'm here, Preciosa." He spoke with the same volume as her, hushed, low, a tone that shot right to her belly. Her insides seems to melt and mush. A shiver crawled down her spine, goosebumps raising on her arms. He gazed down at her, dark eyes boring into hers as his thumb traced a slow circle on her lower back.

"Lily! Get your ass out here and help me!" Leti yelled from the other room sounding agitated. Lily startled in his arms, and just like that the spell was broken. Her hands were pushing off his stomach and she was stepping away before he could stop her.

Bishop dropped his arm reluctantly, feeling as if all the heat was zapped from his body as he did. It took everything in him not to reach out and pull her back, instead he gripped his beer tighter, sinking back into a chair as she disappeared through the doorway. Releasing a sigh, Bishop raked a hand through his hair. Shit.

#romance #writing #writer #ez reyes #bishop losa x reader #bishop losa x you #bishop losa #obispo losa #mayans imagine #mayans fanfic #mayans mc #mayans x oc #fiction #fanfic #lovestory #Obispo Losa x Lily

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whitherliliesbloom · 3 years ago

Text

weaving the present, illuminating the future

[ ffxivwrite2021 ] ★ [ masterlist ] ★ [ prompt #30 - abstracted ]

[ illya & friends ] ★ [ 2,849 words ] ★ [ streamers au ]

modern / streamers / online celebrities au where the spud squad are all popular streamers who frequently collab together. centers around illya and kaye mainly, but briefly mentions a bunch of other friends and illyanaud.

abstracted- withdrawn in mind, inattentive to one's surroundings

the spud squad announce their indefinite hiatus right after releasing their one year anniversary single, and illya cannot help but to feel just a tad bit melancholic.

Illya hasn’t bothered checking her notifications, or looked at either her computer screen or mobile phone, really. The sounds of ping after ping on linkcord, text after text and the flood of new tweets mentioning the one tag she followed on twitter easily made her overwhelmed - and so she’d opted to switch her devices off entirely before burying herself under the covers for the evening, trying desperately to distract herself with a copy of a manhwa that she’d borrowed from Laurelis.

But it was futile, her head is empty and heavy, yet swirling with a myriad of many emotions all at the same time. And after feebly reading and re-reading the same page over and over only to realize she hadn’t been paying attention to the contents of the book at all, she closed the manhwa shut with a heavy sigh before closing her eyes, praying to the heavens that exhaustion would lull her quickly to sleep.

Outsiders would merely assumed she was simply nervous from the release of their newest single, Ultramarine Hymn, a collaboration between the members of their massively popular streamer group made in celebration for their one year anniversary. They’d prepared for months, working together with a widely renowned music composer and even performing live on stage with a set of professional make up artists, producers and videographers to film their first ever music video.

For everyone barring Mint, it’d been their first time ever singing and dancing for a large audience online. While the experience had been undoubtedly fun, it was still their first real exposure doing anything of such professionalism and scale- and so her flat mate Kaye wasn’t surprised at all to find her shaking like a leaf as she sat next to him on the couch just several minutes prior to the premier of the video.

While the premier of their first music video was indeed a good half of the reason why Illya felt so out of sorts and nervous for the rest of the night up until sunrise, the true reason for the melancholy she bore in her heart came from the announcement that was posted right after the release of the music video, and it’d kept her awake for a good portion of the late night until she mercifully fell asleep, clutching the lavender purple ribbon she’d worn in the music video tightly in her hands.

The spud squad was going to go on an indefinite hiatus shortly after the release of Ultramarine Hymn - a result of an eight months long business trip Kaye had been assigned on as a professional programmer. Streaming and being something of an internet celebrity was never the man’s main source of income, so it’d be unwise of him to turn down the golden opportunity to further his career in favor of staying behind to continue streaming.

Naturally, Lily was going to move overseas with him as well - and while she has made it clear to her audience that she will continue streaming whenever she could afford the free time to, the radically different time zones between Eorzea and Doma meant it’d be difficult to participate in anymore spud squad activities - at least until she and Kaye would return.

Mint too, announced that she’d been preoccupied with practicing for auditions into several professional idol management companies... and while Illya herself isn’t as busy as the other three, juggling between helping with business at her mother’s florist, studying for an entrance exam into a medical school and streaming on top of that has become quite a hectic endeavor.

Thus with much reluctance, the six of them came to a consensus and decided to announce their indefinite hiatus, a news that they’d hoped would sit well with their impressively large audience of fans if it came with the release of a music video to remember them by.

Illya knew that it was a necessary change of process - that new doors are being opened for each of them and it was only right for them to seize the opportunity to chase their dreams. Deep inside, Illya truly did feel overjoyed for her friends, loved them all with of her heart so much that the hiatus was but a small fraction of the cost to pay in exchange for their happiness.

But that didn’t mean there wasn’t a hint of melancholy and bitter sweetness within that earnest joy and cause for celebration. None of the six of them knew when they’d next be able to work on something like this again, or if they’d even find the time in the future to work together again at all. It was perhaps because of their shared understanding - that unspoken sadness between all of them that they’d agreed to prepare something special to celebrate one year of their collaboration - a song that spoke of hope and a brighter future.

‘The more you give up, the more regrets await you.’

By the time the sun rose, accompanied by the shining of morning light through her pastel pink curtains and the melodic chirping of birds nesting upon the wisteria tree just outside her window, her phone has been assaulted with a mountain of unchecked notifications that she dreaded to sort through.

The girl knew she couldn’t possibly keep her phone locked and switched off forever, and so she’d booted it up after washing up in the shared bathroom, before walking out of her bedroom, staring down at her screen with a light frown.

The smell of fried bacon wafts through the apartment. The sound of sizzling oil intermingles with Hazel’s cheery singing, and Illya takes the time to open the latch of her enclosure, allowing the little sparrow to flutter about the living room until it settled peacefully next to the potted sunflowers that sat upon the window sills of the kitchen, watching the raven haired man flipping eggs effortlessly with a flick of the frypan.

“Good morning, Kaye. Thank you for making breakfast, again.” Greeting with an ever bright smile, Illya sits herself down at her designated seat at the dining table upon a bright floral cushion, watching as the man turns his head back for a moment before returning his attention to the stove.

“It’s Sunday, so it’s my turn. You don’t gotta thank me.” He walks over to the dining table to dump the steaming hot sunny side ups and crispy bacon onto their plates, cups of orange juice already poured and waiting, which Illya takes into her hand to take a quick sip out of.

“You checked eorzeatube and twitter yet?” The young man asks as he sets the frypan down, gesturing towards the phone in her hands.

“N-no... Is it urgent?”

“Not really, no.” Kaye raises an eyebrow, sitting himself down and jabbing a fork into his bacon. “But aren’t you curious about how the music video did?”

“I-I am... A little, I suppose... but-”

Her stammer gives her away her listlessness, and Kaye shoots the girl a furrowed scowl and a frown.

“Is somethin’ botherin’ you?” The man asks, and Illya’s lips curl upwards into a wide, deceptively warm smile.

“Just nervous is all.. What if the fans didn’t like it?” it wasn’t a complete lie, though not the total truth, but Illya was always exceptionally talented at hiding her negative emotions, and Kaye seems to buy it enough to slump back against the back rest of his chair and toss the bacon into his awaiting mouth, chewing quietly and swallowing before speaking.

“You won’t know till you see for yourself.”

It’s an unfortunate reality that he’s right, and Illya finally gives in and taps onto the icon for the twitter app, waiting for the timeline feed to load before her star spangled violet eyes widen in complete disbelief.

99+ notifications, an equally unbearable amount of private messages in her inbox as well as the first tweet literally being about the music video - Moth’ir’s retweet of their short promotional video from their official spud squad twitter account, which has garnered over 40 thousand likes and 10 thousand retweets.

#spudsquad and #ultramarinehymn are trending, and Illya gives in to her curiosity enough to tap on the tags and scroll through the tweets.

cosplaycon2022 hype!!! @/oracleoflight • 18h my good friend illya and her friends #spudsquad just released #ultramarine hymn and it’s so so so good!!! please give it a watch!!

EEEEEEEEEE @/driftinintiawind • 18h @/academician you didn’t tell me your gf was an idol bro???? GOOD SHIT #ultramarinehymn

pink is JUSTICE @/rosepinkcutie • 17h OHHHHH I’m goihng to cwyg #ultramarinehymn made me cryuy. iT’S SO GOOD...... #spudsquad i LOVE YOU

Alphinaud @/academician • 17h Do give your support to #spudsquad ‘s new music video, #ultramarinehymn ! They’ve worked very hard on it!

soliriii @/windupsunshine • 17h thank you #spudsquad for all the joy you’ve given me for the past year!! what a way to celebrate <3 #ultramarinehymn

hien’s booty @/floortank • 16h HEY #ultramarinehymn IS SO LIT THOUGH????? WTF

thancredwaters @/gunbrkrs • 16h #spudsquad Good job my daughter hasn’t stopped playing this song on repeat for the past 2 hours.

Nyx @/underthebloodmoon • 15h Sharing a good friend’s music video here. #ultramarinehymn #spudsquad

Nidhstinien @/azuredragoon • 15h [youtube link] #ultramarinehymn nice

vergotohelldad @/reveilleur • 14h only 4 hours after release and #ultramarinehymn is already trending. twitter has some fucking good tastes in music thank the twelve.

Lamittens! @/lalamitt • 14h Oh to be spud squad long time fan :pleading: I’m so fed... #ultramarinehymn #spudsquad

nhelly @/blackestmage • 13h I turn around and #spudsquad decided to drop an absolute banger. loving #ultramarinehymn !!

Aymeric de Borel @/officialborel • 13h A wonderful song that elicits a sense of optimism and hope. #ultramarinehymn

kafuuchi @/cloudsysmile • 13h hey is it just me or is kaye getting hotter :blush: still a kayelily simp tho!! #ultramarinehymn

KoKomi Komi @/sangopriestess • 12h @/starblossoms Congratulations on the new MV!! It’s very catchy! #ultramarinehymn

The scroll is endless, timeline filled with a mixture of both familiar and unfamiliar twitter handles, yet all collectively singing praises and awe for the music video and the song. It’s hard to not be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of positive reception their hard work and efforts have received, and Illya tears her eyes away from the screen to look up at Kaye with a twinkle in her wide violet eyes, and the man looks back at her expectedly.

“I-It...It seems to be very well received.”

“’Seems to be’? The video’s got over five hundred thousand views on eorzeatube from the past 18 hours.”

Illya almost chokes on her eggs, eyes blown wide as she swallows her food abruptly and her voice raises into a high, bewildered squeak.

“F-f-five... hundred thousand???”

By the twelve, that’s far more than even their highest recorded number of viewers on their biggest stream - and it’s been less than a day since the release of the music video. She cannot imagine just how ecstatic Mint must be at having such a successful idol-esque debut.

“Does that ease your worries now?” Kaye asks, snapping the girl out of her train of thoughts once more, and he is met with a smile and an affirmative nod in response.

“It does... thank you, Kaye.”

Knowing that weeks of preparation, practice and hard work has paid off and finally bore fruit was the biggest relief Illya’s experienced in a while, and the simple knowledge that the sentiment of their song got through to a good number of the fans warmed her heart.

But in the midst of the joy, there was yet an underlying somberness lingering in the air between the pair that was not lost to either of them, as silence quickly fills the atmosphere and quickly turns the space around them cold.

Scrolling through the top tweets didn’t exactly help either - because while it had quickly eased Illya’s worries of the music video being negatively received, in between praises for the song came the posts of fans who were dejected by the hiatus announcement.

Most of them had been supportive, of course... Their audience has ever been so welcoming, understanding and wonderful to them. But that perhaps made the disappointment they felt even worse on Illya’s melancholy, as she once again quickly slips back into the depths of her own internal mind.

Because as well received as the music video they’d released is, it still ends with them going their separate ways, and it fills Illya with a sense of already festering loneliness that she refuses to admit verbally to.

She never did like goodbyes.

‘The time that flows in the blink of an eye. The fear of continuing to be as we are.’

Neither Kaye nor Illya particularly enjoyed talking about their troubles, not even to each other, and so while Kaye could make an educated guess on why Illya seemed so despondent, he makes no comment on it. He was never the best at comforting others anyway.

He lets the silence fester between them even after Illya sets her phone down to focus on her plate full of breakfast, fishing his own device out of his pants pocket and begins to type away at it.

It isn’t until after a whole ten minutes has passed that he’d finally look up from the screen, expression unreadable yet his voice sounding a modicum more relaxed than it had been a while ago as he calls out to Illya as she was drinking the last of her orange juice.

“Hey, you’re free tonight, right?” The raven haired man asks, and Illya sets her glass down with a quirk of her eyebrow, if there was even a hint of sorrow in her, she didn’t allow him to hear it.

“Um... I am. Why?”

A smile from Kaye is a rarity, let alone one that carries such gentleness and ease... but the one he’s wearing now is so warm that it blows away the storm clouds that she hadn’t even noticed hanging over her head.

“Then, are you cool to do an Among us stream tonight? With the other four, of course.”

Sparkling lavender eyes widen, and Illya is silent for a brief moment before stuttering out in response.

“A-aren’t you going over to Lily’s place to help her pack though?? And... the others.. aren’t they-”

“I’ll only be there for the afternoon. We’re only gonna be flying next week so there’s no rush. As for the others, I already asked. You can even invite Alphinaud if you want, the more the merrier.”

“But didn’t we just announce that we’re going on hiatus? I don’t want to trouble the others if they’re too busy either-”

Her pink lips slightly part, voice timid and soft. Hesitation and uncertainty briefly flashing through her twinkling eyes as she averts her gaze from the man and hides them under the shadows of her pure white bangs. But it does little to keep the light red burn of her cheeks and the bridge of her nose from Kaye, who only rolls his eyes at her in response.

“Gods, stop being so nice. I said I already asked and they’re down for it.... well, mostly. Ichi said he wanted to sleep but I’ll drag him outta his bed if I have to. We may be on hiatus, but it’s not like we’re gonna stop hanging out together, right?”

Though Kaye’s tone is rough and his words are painfully honest, his tongue as sharp as the gaze of his midnight blue eyes, Illya knew there was kindness laced beneath his huff, and the tension in her body slowly begins to fade, making way for a brighter, far more honest and radiant smile that washed away the chill of the air like a spring breeze.

He’s right, as he often is.

Even if they may go their separate ways in the future, they will still always remain connected as friends, holding the memories they made together close in their hearts.

Her phone’s buzzing with notifications again, and she takes a peek down at the lit up screen, her heart warming at the equally excited messages from her beloved friends. From Mint who is spamming :mikurave: emotes, to Lily who was telling Ichi that no, a schedule with his bed isn’t a valid excuse and Nanami who was offering to set up the stream for the night... Things are all as it should be, right here and now where they are together - where they are home.

“If everyone’s fine with it then... I’ll join too. Don’t raid Ichi’s flat, though!”

Illya lets out a giggle that rings out like windchimes in a cool summer breeze, and Kaye clicks his tongue with a shrug of his shoulder.

“He gave me his keys for this exact reason, he doesn’t mind. How do you think he always makes it in time for our streams? All I need to wake him up is a fork and porcelain plate and-”

“Kaye! That’s... that’s so mean-”

‘I'll hug you with equal parts expectation and anxiety. You and I, weaving the present, illuminating the future.’

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pinkpastels113 · 4 years ago

Text

Give Me a Shot

In light of me recently getting my covid shot and @wolvezzz joining us on Tumblr, here’s a little Bechloe one-shot for you all…

(I had to basically rewrite this due to some stupid mistakes I discovered halfway through in the middle of the night, so I am so sorry if some parts do not seem to add up or are too unrealistic. **I tried**)

(Also, let us just assume that the guy that Stacie is talking about is quarantined with his sister, aka no covid.)

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,571

Pairing: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell

Summary: In which Beca is supposed to get a Covid shot but instead got a dose of something far more nerve-wracking.

End B/C if you squint. One-shot. Fluff? Covid AU.

On ao3 or ff.net or here...

(I have no idea what to put as an excerpt so here we go...)

Beca hands over the clipboard to the lady at the desk and smiles tightly behind her mask in thanks as she receives a post-it note in return.

“Put this on the chair you’re going to sit in and come back to it once you’re done receiving the shot for the fifteen minute observatory period,” the lady says, bored but polite as she recites the practiced line Beca heard her give to several people before her.

“Cool. Thanks.” Beca plays with the sticky part of the post-it note in her hands as she walks over to plop down into the plastic chair next to Stacie.

“I hope we don’t have to wait as long as Amy did when she got her shot last week,” her friend says, rubbing her own post-it note onto the arm of her chair and crossing her legs as she leans back.

“Fuck yeah. Me too. Amy’s took at least two hours.” Beca copies the taller brunette’s actions and sighs as she tilts her head back, blinking leisurely up at the ceiling.

Stacie groans. “I will punch someone if we have to wait that long; I’m already hungry as it is.”

Beca snorts, despite being ninety percent sure that her hangry friend will do just that, “Why didn’t you get something to eat sooner?”

Green eyes flit to the side to look at her, “Boy from last night didn’t understand the definition of a one-night stand.”

Of course. Beca rolls her eyes and laughs, the sound muffled behind the piece of fabric covering her mouth, her chest quivering with mirth at the prospect of a guy refusing to accept that his “lucky shot” with her friend was over, “Seriously?”

“Yep.” The mask on Stacie’s face moves in a way that’s a telling of her pursing her lips, her gaze following her hand as fingers trace the unmarked portion of the arm of the chair her wrist is lying on, “He wouldn’t leave even when I told him that I had to go and get myself some breakfast with my mom before meeting with you to get my Covid-19 vaccine, even going as far as to offer to be my personal chauffeur.”

Beca lowers her head from the back of her chair and raises her eyebrows, “Wow. That’s like, a serious guy looking for a serious relationship, dude. Are you sure your friend would be okay with this?”

Stacie had informed her the night before that the brother of one of her most trusted friends would be staying the night with her doing some...choice activities.

“Yeah,” the brunette wrinkles her nose, “I had made sure that both her and her brother knew that I don’t do relationships.” She then brightens, as if suddenly remembering a thought, “Oh, he texted me too.” Stacie turns around and rifles in her purse for her phone, humming in her mouth as she pushes aside the keys and tampons within, and lets out a small noise of triumph as she whips out her device, “Aha.”

Beca chuckles at the scene but leans forward nonetheless, eager to spend the time waiting for her covid vaccine in doing something else besides counting the water spots on the ceiling tiles above her head, “What did he say?”

Stacie unlocks her phone, bouncing slightly in her seat in suppressed excitement as she goes to tap into her messages, “Look.”

Beca doesn’t think she has ever seen anything more desperate and pathetic in her life than the digital text glaring into her face, “Oh my god, he wants to know where you are at and wonders if he can take you out to dinner? Dude.”

Even through the mask Beca can tell that a sly and catlike grin had unfurled across her friend’s lips, followed by a mischievous wink, “Right? I don’t think I’ve ever had someone this desperate for another round right after the one the night before.” She then cocks her head, adding the next words almost as if it’s an afterthought, “And the one the early morning after.”

Beca shakes her head in disbelief, eyes scanning the multitude of text messages subsequent to the one she had just read aloud, “Maybe he just wants to see if last night and early this morning was a fluke.”

Stacie gasps in mock offense, yanking her cellular device away from Beca’s face, “How dare you, Mitchell. The Hunter is never a fluke.”

Beca just shrugs her shoulders in response, shifting her legs to accommodate the position for her to palm her chin.

She blinks innocently up at her.

Stacie narrows her eyes.

“Stacie Conrad?”

Both brunettes whirl around at the mention of the name, Beca taking in the blonde hair and blue scrubs standing at the entrance to the hallway of doctor offices hidden from view, and she sighs as Stacie grins and jumps up, practically skipping over to the woman holding a pen to another wooden clipboard in her hands.

They disappear from sight and Beca turns back around, pouting slightly as she waits for her turn, the foot that isn’t hanging uselessly in the air tapping impatiently on the floor beneath her chair. Just as she is about to delve into a full on sulk, a melodic voice chirps her name.

“Rebeca Mitchell?”

Fiery red hair and bright blue eyes meet her gaze, and Beca’s mouth goes dry as the woman waves cheerily at her, her entire body freezing in her seat as the organ in her chest decidedly unfreezes, and it is not until the cerulean pools has vanished into a blink that she has realized that she has stared too long and should probably get her ass up and over there.

Beca swallows and nods, and almost trips over her feet in the act of standing up without first uncrossing her legs. Blushing furiously and praying that nobody in the vicinity has noticed besides her awkward and idiotic self, she tugs at the hem of her blouse and quickly makes her way over.

“Hi,” the redhead greets, the smile lines on her cheeks creasing prettily as she crosses out her name with a ballpoint pen, “Rebeca Mitchell?”

“Beca,” she says, automatic in her response to the correction of the name that she has loathed since birth, “It’s Beca.”

She looks up at her, and Beca wants to slap herself in her haste to blurt out the two liner that she usually only reserves for people with whom she wants to be casual with, “Beca.”

Her fingers twitch at the way her name sounds rolling through the air in that sweet melodic tune, and she suddenly wants to find out how it sounds like rolling off her tongue, clear and without the obstacles of the stupid masks blocking its way.

Before she could do much more than tip her chin in acknowledgement, the redhead has twirled around in a flurry of red and blue, and Beca is dutifully following her down the hallway into the office attached at the very end.

At the gesture for her to sit on the stool in front of the wall, Beca sat, and promptly stares as the redhead sets the clipboard on the table before reaching for a pair of new latex gloves, watching the way she snaps them on and pulls a card out of her scrub pocket, drinking in the sight of her tilting her head as she flourishes her pen over the newly revealed card.

She is so fucking gorgeous.

Beca wishes that she is not in the middle of a fucking pandemic.

“So is that with one C or two C’s?” Her question snaps her out of her daze and Beca has to reluctantly pull her gaze away from the smooth expanse of her neck.

“Oh, um,” she gulps to lubricate her throat, sitting up taller to properly project her voice, hoping upon hope that the louder volume will drown out its slight tremble, “It’s actually Rebeca on paper. With one C.”

An inconspicuous murmur floats into her ears, and if Beca hadn’t known any better, she would’ve described it being accompanied with a teasing smile, “I see.”

Her heart pounds in her chest and it’s a big struggle to refrain from squirming in her stool.

The redhead finishes writing on the card and sets that and the pen aside, before slowly making her way towards her. Beca’s eyes stay determinedly on her face—or more accurately, on what she could make of it—her nerves growing more jittery and jumpy by the second, and she finds herself holding her breath as the redhead comes to a stop, feet away. She nibbles on the inside of her cheek as a gloved hand picks up a small package and tears at the seams, taking out an alcohol wipe and shaking it out, before placing the empty pieces of said package back onto the paper on the exam table from which it came from.

Sneakers step forward and then red hair and blue eyes are inches closer.

“Roll your sleeve up for me, please?” Her voice lilts at the end, Beca’s heart instantly mimicking the gesture, and she fumbles with the sleeve of her blouse on her left arm to comply.

The redhead leans forward to rub at the uncovered skin with the cold wipe, causing shivers to emanate from the affected area and spread through and around every nerve ending in her entire upper body, and Beca has to clench her hand into a tight fist to hold herself still.

“Relax,” she says, not moving away even as she sets aside the used wipe as well, removing the cap from the needle from which contained the Covid vaccine. “You need to relax, Becs; the muscle will sore if you don’t.”

Beca’s gaze snaps up, sure that the redhead had just uttered a nickname of her already shortened name, but apart from the fact that her blue eyes seemed to twinkle even brighter—a fact that Beca stubbornly gives credit to the fluorescent light from overhead, in addition to their sudden close proximity—her expression betrays nothing.

She heeds the request and unclenches her fist, and as the prickling feeling signalling the intrusion of the vaccine starts from her arm, a glare on the breast pocket of the redhead’s scrubs catches her eye.

Dr. Chloe Beale.

Huh.

Beca grins, elated at the realization that she had just found out the name of the gorgeous woman standing before her.

She sends up a mental thank you to whoever had the intelligence and generosity of coming up with the invention of name tags.

The prickling sensation resides, and Beca looks over to see that Chloe is done delivering the shot. She makes to lower the sleeve of her blouse, but a gloved hand brushing against her sensitive skin stops her.

“Hold on, I need to give you a Band-Aid.” Despite the blue latex covering her fingertips, Beca can still feel the warmth and tenderness of Chloe’s touch.

Beca nods, dumbly, as Chloe quickly peels off the ends of the Band-Aid and pastes it carefully over the reddening spot. Gloved hands linger, taking the time to rub out every last inch of the two ends of the patch, fingers wrapping lightly against the circumference of her upper arm, and Beca stares with bated breath, suddenly afraid to look at any place else.

She is glad that she is in the middle of a fucking pandemic.

“There.” It is a soft puff of a sound, and if Beca hadn’t already been so close to her face, hadn’t already been close enough to wish that she had the ability to rip off her mask and smell her undoubtedly sweet and floral perfume, she wouldn’t have heard it. “You’re all set.”

Chloe finally steps away, and Beca wishes that she hadn’t spun around so fast because she is pretty sure that she had just sent her a wink.

“So, here’s the card that I have filled out for you, and it’s really important that you bring it back when you return for your second dose,” the card that Chloe had written on earlier is handed over, covered in beautiful, curling black ink, “And you should receive a text in the next hour or so telling you when that second dose is going to be.”

“From you?” The words had left Beca’s mouth without her notice or permission, and it was not until an auburn eyebrow had risen into the air in amusement that Beca had realized what she had said.

“Fuck.”

She covers her face in her hands, only to be embarrassed even further when the evidence of her forgotten boundary scrapes against her palms. She settles for letting out a groan and closing her eyes, laying her elbows onto her thighs and hanging her head in a full manifestation of her humiliation.

Her body feels like it’s on fire and Beca wants the goddamn ground to open up and swallow her whole.

Chloe giggles. “Not from me, silly. From the Department of Health of the state.”

Beca is positive that had she whipped her head up any faster, her neck would’ve snapped. Chloe’s laugh is like a drug. “Yeah, sorry. That was not supposed to come out of my mouth.”

Now that is definitely a wink. “What was supposed to come out then?”

Her jaw slackens, and if Fat Amy was there in the room with her, she would’ve made fun of her for looking like a fish. The heat in her cheeks burn hotter and Beca hastily shakes her head, hopping off from the stool, grateful that she had managed not to trip like the time before. The hard cardstock digs into her lines of her palm of her right hand further with each pulse against the side of her neck, and Beca wills her feet to power walk to the exit of the suffocating room lest she makes even more of a complete and awkward idiot out of herself in front of Dr. Chloe Beale.

Fingers tug on her wrist, and then something small is slapped onto her card. “Here,” Chloe looks like she’s chewing on her lip, “You forgot your sticker.”

Confusion furrows her brows, but something in her hisses at her to not to say a word, especially when sparkling blue eyes dart down the hall agitatedly as if its owner knows that she is doing something she’s not supposed to and if she is caught, she is going to be in major trouble.

There seems to not be enough air in the world for her to suck in, and Beca clutches both the sticker and card tightly against the space between her breasts and speeds down the hallway, her converse squeaking against the floor as she spins to beeline the rest of her way into her yellow post-it noted designated chair.

Stacie looks up from her phone from which 14:39 flashes across her screen and moves her foot out of her way so Beca can sit down, “So? How’d it go?”

Beca finally unleashes the death like grip of her hands, the side effect of her recent dose of something far from a vaccination of a worldwide virus causing her temperature to spike and her body to hyperventilate when ten beautifully, flirtatiously, unabashedly, confidently written digits wink at her from the back of the tiny sticker. “Like how it’s supposed to. I got a shot.”

I think this is gonna be my one and only covid related fanfic; it was absolutely exhausting to write, and I am still 98% sure that I haven’t fixed all the mistakes… XD.

#bechloe #bechloe fanfic #bechloe fanfiction #bechloe au #bechloe oneshot #pitch perfect #pitch perfect fanfiction #beca x chloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #bechloe fluff #stacie conrad #covid au #mine #middle of the night #I don’t know what I’m doing #i need to sleep

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witchygagirlwrites · 4 years ago

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Best Friend (Part 3/3)

you and Kevin are best friends but when you start to fall for him you start pulling away until a life threatening situation urges you to confess how you feel

Kevin was sitting in the corner of the waiting room at Med. It had taken too long for Gabby and Sylvie to get you back. Minutes passed precious minutes that could mean the difference in whether or not you woke up.

The ride to med was the longest one he'd ever experienced. He couldn't ride in the ambulance because he'd been too upset Adam had basically drug him into a car. Otis had climbed in the back of the ambulance with Gabby to help bag you while she worked on stabilizing your injuries. Time you got to Med Will and Connor along with an army of nurses met you in the ambulance bay.

He'd stood outside trauma one watching as Will ventilated you. Your heart was beating but your lungs couldn't breathe on their own yet. You had inhaled too much smoke. He'd stood frozen to the spot until Kim and Adam had talked him into going to the waiting room which was packed with family members of the victims of the fire but one corner of the room was nothing but fire and cpd waiting to hear anything on you.

-----

Gabby and Sylvie both sat leaned against Antonio who was going from silently praying to trying to keep everyone calm.

Adam and Jay had both tried to talk to Kevin but after he snapped at Kim everyone had given him a wide berth knowing if he had acted that way towards her any of the men may have to duck a punch.

-----

Your words kept playing through his head "I love you Kev. You need to know that"

Why hadn't he realized it before then? Why hadn't he told you how he felt? Hell Vinessa and Jordan had called him out more than once but he always thought you just saw him as a friend nothing more and he didn't want to risk your friendship on feelings you may not reciprocate now he may never have the chance to tell you how he felt.

-----

The pregnant woman Jessica was going to be ok. She was far enough along her OB had decided inducing labor would be safer than waiting to check the baby's lung capacity.

She'd given birth to a seven pound, two ounce little girl about half an hour before. Mom and baby were both going to be ok thanks to you.

They'd given the baby your name as her middle name citing that she wouldn't have been born had it not been for you. Jessica told her husband and Sylvie how you had given her the mask and the fire blanket then never left her side and how you had shielded her with your own body when the roof collapsed.

From what Casey and Severide said you had effectively sheilded her. They'd found the two of you under a portion of roof but Jessica hadn't been injured beyond her leg that she told them was broken before the roof came in. She'd been sending her husband down to the emergency department as she could to try to find out any news on you but after the third trip Will had told him someone would come up because it was only causing more stress on Jessica and the people who loved you.

-----

He was proud of you even if what you did was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen. The paramedics had been told time and again after Shay died not to go in a building. He knew you though once you found out there was someone inside and heard that person hell itself wouldn't have kept you out. Your bravery was one of the many reasons he loved you.

Hell he could start now and that baby would be going into kindergarten by the time he got through listing all the reasons he loved you.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes willing for all of this to be a bad dream and him to wake up and be able to start this day over.

A phone ringing pulled everyone's attention to the bag sitting at Sylvie's feet. Your bag. She cut her eyes at Gabby who nodded so she leaned over and unzipped the bag to find your phone sitting on top. when she pulled it out she showed the phone to Antonio who cursed under his breath before taking it and standing up.

Kevin hadn't moved when the phone rang because honestly he hadn't cared. If it was anything to do with you Will would have came out to tell them but when Antonio bumped his foot he glanced up and saw your phone was being held out to him and his heart stopped seeing Vinessa's name and a picture of you and her flash across the screen.

He took the phone from Antonio and took a breath before answering "Hey Vinessa" "Kev?"

He steadied himself for the next part of this conversation "Where's auntie?" "Hold on I'll go get her. Is everything ok?" "Just go get her" he answered being more snappy than he usually would be with his sister but not wanting to have to tell her what was going on with you not yet.

-----

He told his aunt what had happened and the shape you were currently in. "She's strong Kevin. She'll pull through" she assured him but he couldn't shake the image of your body hanging limp in Kelly's arms. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if she don't" he admitted feeling like a portion of his heart was getting ripped out his chest at the prospect of you dying.

"Keep faith in her and the doctors. If she's half the woman you and these kids say she is she'll wake up" he spotted Will walking towards him so told her he had to go. The last thing she told him was "I really want to meet her one day" then hung up.

-----

Everyone held their breath when they spotted Will. Sylvie and Kim stood to be next to Kevin as he heard whatever news was coming.

Will let out a breath and smiled slightly "She's got a concussion from the blow, fourteen staples in the back of her head and bruised ribs but all in all she was lucky considering. Now as far as the smoke inhalation goes we're slowly weaning her off the ventilator and so far she's doing good. If she continues at this pace she'll be backing breathing on her own before morning. She's medicated so she's resting but Kev she's going to recover"

Kevin felt himself weaken at hearing you were going to be ok. He'd been preparing himself for the worse but now he knew you were coming back to him.

He pulled Kim then Sylvie into a hug. "She's going to be ok" Kim reminded with a smile.

-----

Will let everyone go to your room two at a time. Seeing you with a breathing tube in was hard but knowing you would recover lessened the blow.

Once everyone had saw you mainly to reassure themselves you were still intact they began to trickle out to head home and get some sleep so they could all come back in the morning before shifts started to check on you. Kevin however couldn't bring himself to leave so Will cleared it for him to stay overnight.

-----

He sat at your bed staring at your chest as it rose and fell. Your breathing was getting better. In the last few hours they had removed the breathing tube completely leaving you on just oxygen but you were still sleeping from the pain medication they'd given you.

Will had left orders with the night shift on keeping a check on you and that he would be in first thing to check your lung functions.

He was beyond tired. Sleep had been nipping at him since everyone left earlier but in his mind if he fell asleep something would happen to you and he couldn't chance it.

His aunt had called again for an update on you and was happy to hear they were confident in your recovery. He'd talked to Vinessa and Jordan and they were both worried about you and made him promise to call as soon as you were up to talking again.

He sat looking through the numerous photos of you and his siblings he had on his phone. He settled on one in particular that Vinessa had taken on her last birthday. You were smiling and hanging off his neck as you ducked a water balloon thrown by Kim and Adam.

Why hadn't he realized then he was in love with you? He finally drifted off to sleep with one hand touching your arm that was closest to him.

-----

Everything hurt as you swam out from under the fog of unconsciousness. The last thing you remembered was blocking Jessica from the piece of roof that was crashing down on the two of you.

You felt a weight on your left arm and slowly opened your eyes to see Kevin fast asleep with his head leaned over on your arm. He looked so peaceful you didn't want to move and risk waking him but you needed to see just how badly you were hurt not to mention you had to see how Jessica and her baby were.

Despite the pain you were feeling a touch of embarrassment hit when you remembered telling Kevin you loved him. Was that why he'd stayed? A sense of guilt? Or maybe he felt the same? That thought made a small smile slip onto your face but you pushed it down and looked around for the call button and hit it once hoping whoever came in would keep it down a bit until you at least found out what happened after you were knocked out.

------

Will's head popped around the corner and he gave you a small smile. You help one finger to your lips and he looked down and saw Kevin still asleep "How ya feeling wonder woman?" He whispered coming closer to listen to your breathing. "Not that wonderful" you croaked out grimacing at the sound of your own voice pushing the oxygen down once he gave the ok.

"So do you wanna know about yourself first or about Jessica and her little girl?"

-----

After showing you a couple pics on his phone of Jessica and your name sake Will gave you a rundown of your own injuries and you were honestly surprised you'd faired as well as you did.

"Has he been here all night?" You asked and felt Kevin stirring before he sat up rubbing his eyes "He's been here since they brought you in"

Will smiled and said "I'll give you two a few minutes. There's some tests we need to run on you but for now just rest. You need it" "Thanks Will" you replied with a tired smile. He winked at you before walking out "I'd say any time but I prefer not to see you again like this"

A silence fell between you and Kevin once Will walked out. He spoke your name quietly bringing his eyes up to yours and you felt tears spring to your eyes “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” you begged closing your eyes and leaning back against the pillows.

You couldn't face the pity you were sure was in his eyes. He was your friend of course he'd stayed to make sure you didn't die but now that he knew you were on the mend would come the talk that he didn't feel the same way.

He reached out and grabbed your hand running his thumb across the back of it. "Angel look at me please" you opened your eyes slowly and when he saw the tears brimming in them it hurt his heart. "Seeing Kelly carry you out that building felt like my whole world stopped. You weren't breathing, you were bleeding and they wouldn't let me get to you. It took me a while to realize it myself but I've been in love with you for almost as long as I've known you. You're my best friend and I don't want to ever have to doubt that you know how I feel about you again. So please baby don't think for a minute that I don't love you"

-----

You felt a smile spread across your face as Kevin's words tumbled out. When he got through he sat staring at you with an expectant look on his face as if he was scared that your confession had just been stimmed by the possibility of death.

"One request" you said turning your hand over to lace your fingers with his. A smile slipped onto his face staring at your hands before raising his eyes back to your face "Anything" he said squeezing your hand gently "are you willing to kiss me while I sound like a frog?"

He let out a shocked laugh and shrugged "Baby I'd kiss you even if you were a frog"

Kevin stood up and gently brushed his lips against yours in a tentative kiss. You raised your hand that didn't have an IV in it to pull him closer to you and deepen the kiss.

The sound of Will clearing his throat at the door made Kevin pull away from you with a smile. "I love you Kevin" you whispered pressing another quick kiss to his lips before he could pull away completely. "I love you too sweetheart" he said with a smile before stepping back so Will could get up to your side.

Will looked between the two of you and chuckled "I always thought you two would be good together"

#chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd fic #one chicago fanfic #kevin atwater drabble #kevin atwater x reader

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the-real-tc · 3 years ago

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Fic Update! Wide River to Cross: Chapter 26—We’ll Get to the Other Side

Author's Note: Okay, kiddies. We're here. We've seen the episodes, so we know how it all goes. I'm just filling in some blanks, as I've been doing this whole time. One thing in particular to note: When Lisa pulls up to Heartland like we see at the end of Ep. 714, I have made the creative decision to set that event the morning following their "rescue". It does not make sense to me she visits Jack the same afternoon. (There simply was not enough daylight hours left for it to have been the same day.)

Also, I have chosen not to cover what happens directly after Lisa's arrival, as this was done expertly well in a story called Better Than Before by another author here that goes by 'Wildflowers606'. I really could not have done a better job of that, so go read that story if you're looking for what could have happened.

I think there's one more chapter left to finish things off in my story, so stay tuned for at least another, because of course I have to cover a certain elopement...

Chapter 26: We’ll Get to the Other Side

Lisa tried not to let the anxiety of being separated from Jack eat away at her.

I should have insisted on going with him, she fretted. I will never be able to forgive myself if something happens to him out there. Cinders may be a valuable horse, but he’s certainly not worth the price of Jack’s life.

The horse had calmed down in the time Lisa had been down in the pit with him. She continued to maintain contact with him, rubbing his head and his mane every so often; talking softly, letting him know he had not been abandoned. She had also got over the initial stress of waking to find Cinders had escaped sometime during the storm. All kinds of dark scenarios about the horse’s fate had played in her mind then, so she was thankful the animal seemed to be unharmed by this little misadventure.

“Can we even get him out of here?” she remembered asking Jack when they found Cinders down in the gully not far from a creek near their campsite.

Jack’s quick assessment of the situation produced an answer she did not want to hear: the sides of the gully were too steep to navigate, and downed trees would need to be cut to provide a suitable passage out.

I guess I’m not as “prepared” as I claimed to be, Lisa mulled, recalling how Jack asked if she happened to have a chainsaw back in the trailer, which of course she did not. Memo to myself: add “chainsaw” to list of tools to always have in the trailer.

Without access to the clock on her iPhone, it was difficult to judge the passage of time, but Lisa guessed Jack had been gone for close to two hours already. Her stomach growled, reminding her the last time she had eaten was the paltry portion of granola the evening before. To keep herself somewhat occupied, she popped a piece of gum into her mouth. That, at least, got her salivary glands going, helping to ease the edge of thirst coming on.

Better for Jack to have that bottle of water than me, she rightly decided. How much longer should I wait? At what point should I leave Cinders and go after Jack? Oh, why did I let him go alone?

“You won’t be gone long,” she remembered emphasizing when he promised he would be right back. She had purposely held onto Jack’s outstretched fingers for a few seconds when she handed him the water bottle; now she prayed that would not be the last time they ever touched.

Please come back, Jack, I’d be lost without you; I’ve been lost without you this entire time we’ve been apart.

***

The tightness in Jack’s chest was nearly unbearable. Hiking up the mountain to find a cell signal is the kind of exertion you really didn’t need, you dummy, he berated himself. You could croak up here and they wouldn’t find your body for days. Lisa would never forgive you, one part of his mind chastised. She’d blame herself for the rest of her life. You don’t want that, do you? Without ever telling her the reason you wanted to take this trip in the first place?

I’m sorry we ever parted in the first place. I love you, Lisa. I love you, and I want you in my life for the rest of my life... if you’ll have me...

At least the climb had not been in vain, and Jack had the assurance Ty and Amy were on the way to their location. They would be bringing his chainsaw and fuel for the truck. And Ty will be bringing my heart pills. I just have to make it back down there, Jack thought. The angina attack was not letting up. A sudden bout of vertigo nearly caused him to stumble and lose his footing.

Okay, take it easy, he told himself, squeezing his eyes shut. Don’t panic. You haven’t eaten breakfast... He paused in his descent and sagged against an old tree, heedless for the time being of the protruding branches poking at his shoulder. Jack threw open his coat, hoping his breathing would not feel as restricted. This action, however, did little to relieve the pressure in his chest and neck. Deep breaths. Slow and steady, now, he coached himself. He breathed in, counted from one to five, exhaled, and repeated the cycle five more times.

Gradually, the dizzy spell passed. Jack consciously returned his breathing to a normal rate. He took a few sips of water, giving relief to his parched throat and bone-dry mouth. The pain in his chest was still there, but not as pronounced. He wiped away the sweat under the brim of his hat. It was time to resume the walk back to the gully. Lisa’s going to be worried if I stay up here too long. I have to get back to Lisa. He reminded himself not to rush; not to overwork his heart; to keep breathing deeply and steadily. I have to get back to Lisa.

***

Ty glanced over to where Amy sat next to him in the truck. She had been quiet the entire ride so far, but he knew her silence was not of the same quality as last night during his birthday dinner. Last night, she had been mute due to worry. This morning, it was due to anticipation.

Amy loves her Grandpa Jack so much, he thought. If anything had happened to him, I don’t know what she would do. I don’t know what we would do. It was already so rough on the family when he had that heart attack last year. Thank God he’s okay now. But with that thought, Ty remembered the bottle of pills he now carried, burning a hole in his coat pocket. Jack had sworn him to secrecy on that one, leading the young man to worry maybe Jack was not as “okay” as he claimed to be to Amy during their brief conversation.

Based on Jack’s hurried instructions, Ty estimated they had perhaps another half-hour of travel before they found the correct Range Road, along with Lisa’s stranded truck and trailer. I hope Jack will still be okay when we find them...

Amy stared steadily at the road. The beauty of the rolling hills to her right-hand side did not entirely escape her notice, but her thoughts were still mainly focused on her present “rescue” mission.

I’m so glad they’re okay, Amy mused. Simply seeing Lisa’s number on her call display had been enough to disperse the anxiety that had been holding her hostage all night long. The sound of Jack’s voice on the other end lifted her spirits completely and renewed her energy—energy that had been sapped due to lack of sleep in the preceding hours.

In time, Ty found Range Road 135, noting how absolutely far off the beaten track it was, and how far away it was from Jack and Lisa’s intended destination. How in the world did they get so lost? he wondered as he continued along the trail, keeping his eyes peeled. Soon enough, both Ty and Amy spied Lisa’s empty truck and trailer.

“There it is,” Amy exclaimed, leaning forward excitedly in her seat.

“I see it,” Ty commented, keeping his own excitement under wraps. And not another soul around, he contemplated, thinking how they had not encountered any traffic in either direction for the past hour-and-a-half. He slowed Jack’s truck and brought it to a stop a short distance behind the trailer.

“I hope they’re still okay,” said Amy as she hurriedly unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Me, too. Let’s go,” Ty said, exiting the truck.

In minutes, they were hiking down into the woods in search of the trail Jack had mentioned, carrying a shovel and the necessary chainsaw and jerrycan. Ty surreptitiously made sure he still had Jack’s medication with him. You’d better be okay, Jack, he thought. This family needs you more than you know.

***

Lisa’s heart leapt upon hearing Jack’s voice calling her name. She spun around, seeing his approaching figure. He appeared to be absolutely worn out, but to her eyes, he could not have looked more wonderful. She climbed up the side of the gully hurriedly to meet him, throwing her arms around his frame.

“Ohh, you’re back,” she breathed, thoroughly relieved he had returned safely. You’re back. I don’t want you to ever leave me like that again, she thought. They held on to each other for a few sweet moments before separating with the happy news Jack had indeed managed to get a cell signal. Help was on the way.

“Good!” Lisa exclaimed. She held onto him again, this time in celebration of Jack’s success. They would be on their way home in a matter of hours, and they could finally put this whole miserable failure of a trip behind them.

Jack did his best to hide his utter exhaustion from Lisa as they climbed back down into the gully together. Last thing she needs right now is to worry about me, he decided. She’s got enough to worry with this horse being stuck down here for so long without food and water. I sure hope he got in a good drink when he crossed the river last night. Stupid horse. Could have gotten himself killed running off like that by himself...

***

It took Ty and Amy about two minutes to find the trail Jack had mentioned, and about thirty minutes later, they came upon the shelter Jack erected next to the rain-doused firepit.

“They can’t be too far now,” Ty commented. “Let’s find that creek.”

“Right,” Amy said, pausing briefly to take in how Jack and Lisa had stretched Cinders’ stall sheet to cover themselves during the night, along with the spruce boughs for bedding. Earlier, she had wondered how they managed to spend the night, especially through the storm. Definitely not a motel room, Amy thought mirthlessly, recalling Tim’s comment from the evening before.

The young couple picked up the pace, knowing they were getting close now to their stranded loved ones. An intermittent drizzle started falling, evidence the weather front that brought last night’s rains had not completely moved on.

***

Lisa looked over to where Jack stood in the gully. Ever since he had come back, relaying the fact Amy and Ty were coming, he had spoken nothing further. The grey pallor Lisa thought she had observed on Jack’s face when he returned seemed to have cleared. Still, his silence was concerning. What if he’s on the verge of another heart attack? she thought. All that climbing up and down that mountain... Oh, why did I let him do that? I should have been the one to go. Knowing she was risking getting him upset just for asking, Lisa went ahead anyway, doing her best to sound nonchalant about it:

“You okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” he answered easily, seeming quite unperturbed; showing no sign whatsoever her question was probing too deeply or breaching any invisible boundaries.

Okay, Jack, Lisa thought decisively. That’s the opening I’ve been hoping for ever since I came back to Hudson. Time to talk for real, now. I need you to hear me; it’s now or never.

“You know what I thought a lot about when you had your heart attack...” she began slowly.

Jack listened with a heavy heart while Lisa unburdened herself. Every word she spoke—reminding him of their squabbles about vacation homes and trips to France—pinched his conscience.

She’s right, he thought miserably, bringing his tired body to rest against a downed tree branch. It really was all so silly and unimportant, just as she said.

Lisa then delivered the line that made him die a little inside: “... all I really wanted to do was just... I just wanted to spend time with you.”

Jack ducked his head guiltily. I wanted to spend time with you, too, Lis. I wanted that so bad.

“I was so happy when you came back last winter,” he blurted out before even realising he was saying it.

She stared at him with a mix of shock and disbelief. We can’t be remembering the same event, Lisa thought, nearly scoffing at this admission.

“You were?” she asked skeptically, then saw him avert his gaze. You sure didn’t seem happy to see me when I came back, mister. What’s going on in that head of yours? Why? Why were you being so unreasonable when all I wanted was to be there for you? Lisa wondered for the hundredth time. Maybe now I’ll get an answer.

The whole uncomfortable episode played back in their minds of that night, both thinking of the awkwardness of the hospital bed occupying a space in the living room at Heartland.

Jack felt a return of the dread he experienced when Lisa summoned him from his room to show him what she thought would be helpful in his recovery. The same sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. A sour taste erupted in his mouth as he thought again of how it might be for them in some hypothetical future where he was a total invalid, and she was reduced to playing nothing but a nursemaid.

Lisa recalled how dishevelled he appeared that January night with his hair falling over his pale face, dressed in his robe, the light gone out of his eyes. Where was that lively, exultant greeting she longed for? Where was the bright smile, the crushing embrace, and the smouldering kiss that signalled he missed her as much as she missed him?

Back in the present moment, when Lisa almost demanded Jack explain why he had resisted her help, he finally admitted his deepest insecurity about the nature of their relationship, and that he did not expect her to understand his reasoning.

“You’re a lot younger than me, Lis,” he muttered, after she declared he had no way of predicting the future; how anything was possible, including the fact she might be the one needing care instead of him ten years down the road.

He’s been worried about our difference in age this whole time? Lisa thought incredulously. How could he even think that would be a stumbling block for us? It’s exactly as you expected Jack, Lisa thought, I don’t understand your reasoning.

Lisa adamantly declared it was damned stupid of him to think he was doing her some incredible favour by “sparing” her a future of taking care of him.

“Don’t you get—don’t you get I was all in?” she said passionately. “I was all in because I loved you, not because I felt sorry for you. But that’s all water under the bridge now, because if loving each other was enough, we’d still be together, wouldn’t we?”

Maybe we shouldn’t go to Arizona together!

Jack could not help but remember his angry, careless words from that night. I regret that so much, Lis. I need to tell you that. I need you to know...

“For what it’s worth, Arizona wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Jack admitted.

“Yeah? Too hot?” Lisa guessed, despite her heavy heart at the bitter memories of how they parted; of how much she had been looking forward to spending time with him in that famed desert state.

“No,” Jack murmured. “Too lonely. I spent the whole time there wishing you were with me.”

He looked up at her, wondering even now if it was too late to bring her back into his lonely life; if she would forgive him. Lisa gazed back at his downcast face, watching his expression carefully to gauge his sincerity.

“I’m just too damned stubborn to pick up the phone, and too damned stubborn to say ‘I’m sorry’,” Jack said.

“Jack?!”

Lisa started at the sound of Ty’s shout. “Here!” she called in response before rushing up the side of the gully to meet with Ty and Amy.

When Jack was sure no one was looking, he quietly asked Ty for his heart medication. He slipped a pill under his tongue and waited for the blessed relief to take effect.

***

A calm quiet filled the cab of the truck as Jack and Lisa got back on the road again to Hudson.

The time spent together with the trapped horse had finally provided the opportunity for the former lovers to communicate certain truths. The air had mostly been cleared; all that was left now was to decide if whatever it was they had was still worth holding onto.

An idea had been brewing in Lisa’s mind ever since Jack issued his apology of sorts. I am going to need something to get that stubborn cowboy to come out and say everything I bet he still wants to say—before we were interrupted when Ty and Amy arrived... The way Amy helped her to guide Cinders across the river provided that way; Lisa bided her time until she was sure she would have the best chance of success. I hope this works, she thought, as she pretended to fiddle with her iPhone.

Jack’s hopes of convincing Lisa to stay in Hudson seemed to be slipping away when she suddenly begged him to stop the truck. She had at last picked up a cell signal, she told him, and needed to speak with her real estate agent immediately lest she lose the chance to accept the offer on Fairfield.

Not if I have anything to say about it, Jack thought, almost in a panic now, watching her step outside onto the road as she hoped to recapture the finnicky cell connection. I’m going to lay my cards on the table. The rest will be up to her. She said she ‘loved’ me back there in the gully. Did she mean that in the past tense, only? No, I have to believe she still does...

Lisa stood with her back to him. Almost hating herself for the pretense, she informed him she had a signal again; that the call was going through. She heard him grouse that this was crazy; that she should at least wait until they got back into town. But she would not be deterred. I’m forcing you to play your hand, Jack. Don’t let me down. From behind, she felt him reach for the iPhone. He grabbed it from her hand and ended the call.

“What are you doing?” she asked, feigning ignorance, though her heart surged in triumph.

“I don’t want you to sell,” he declared. “Just hear me out. Maybe it is enough.”

“What is?” she asked in confusion.

“Earlier you said loving each other ‘wasn’t enough’. But you’re wrong,” Jack said, the lines of his face drawn into deep sadness. “It is enough, Lis. I still love you, and I think you still love me. We just have to figure out how our lives fit together.”

Lisa held her breath, keeping her own thoughts from spilling out, waiting for him to finish all he wanted to say.

“Now, I don’t know how that’s going to work; only that I want it to, and I hope you do, too. So will you please... just... stay?” he beseeched.

Lisa searched his eyes—eyes which seemed to be holding back tears. The expression she beheld revealed a tormented heart on the verge of breaking at the prospect of another goodbye, this time one that could be permanent.

Without giving an answer, Lisa held out her hand for her phone. “Will you let me think about it?” she asked instead. Once again, she hated stringing him along like this, but she wanted to be certain he meant what he said.

Jack swallowed and sucked in a ragged breath. After a few moments, he finally responded, almost in submission. “Okay.” He placed the phone in her hand.

“I promise I will have an answer for you tomorrow,” she added, noting the bleak disappointment on his face. If she had instead read relief, it would have been over for them.

“Okay, good,” Jack said with a little more enthusiasm. “You can be sure I will be waiting.” Don’t let me down, Lis, please.

“Um, can we get back on the road, now? I’m starving.”

“Oh, sure! Let’s get going,” Jack said, scrambling back to the driver’s seat.

They stole occasional glances at each other the rest of the way, not quite sure what to say to fill the silence, afraid anything else would break this tenuous new connection.

He said it! He still loves me, Lisa silently exulted. He wants me to stay. Jack wants me to stay! She did not know if it was the lack of food that was causing the light-headed sensation or if she was riding a heady high of emotion. Either way, she was already quite certain what she was going to tell the real estate agent when she got back to Fairfield.

She didn’t flat out say “no” when I asked her to stay, Jack thought, feeling more upbeat than he had in months. That’s got to be a good sign, right?

***

Jack exited the driver’s seat and relinquished it to Lisa when they finally arrived at Heartland.

“So... I’ll be hearing from you later?” Jack asked tentatively as he peered through the lowered window.

“Scout’s honour,” Lisa said with a smile, pulling the three-finger Scout salute.

“Okay, then,” Jack said, not knowing if he should chance a goodbye hug and a peck on the cheek.

“We’ll talk soon,” Lisa said as she started the engine.

“’Bye,” Jack said with a small wave. He backed away from the truck and watched Lisa reverse and drive off. Only this time, he had a strong sense this was not a goodbye that would be of the permanent sort.

***

A hungry and tired Lisa unloaded Cinders from the trailer in front of a surprised Fairfield stable hand named Laura.

“Wow, we expected you back yesterday afternoon, Ms. Stillman. I thought you were taking this horse to Montana. Is everything all right?” she asked in confusion.

“Yes, everything’s all right, Laura,” Lisa responded. Better than they’ve been in a very long time, in fact. “And yes, I was taking Cinders to Montana. Not anymore. It’s a long story.”

“Okay,” Laura said slowly, intuiting her boss was not going to say anything more on the matter.

“Please see that he gets a good meal and a good watering,” Lisa instructed. “He’s been through a lot over the past twenty-four hours.”

“Will do,” the young woman said eagerly.

“Thanks, Laura. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few calls to make.” But not before I have a shower and something to eat!

“Let’s go, Cinders,” Laura said, taking the halter to lead the horse to the stables.

***

Jack knew Tim would not stop hounding him about the failed trip to Montana and his status with a certain woman. The trick now was how to forestall his ex-son-in-law until he had heard a definitive answer from Lisa about his request for her to stay in Hudson.

It was already a sure bet Tim would be inviting himself for dinner, Jack figured, and what was the deal with Jade Virani’s presence at Heartland? Well, there was one thing—or rather things—no longer present at Heartland, and that would be Tim’s flock of sheep. Jack noticed their absence almost right away, which meant Tim had finally got rid of them.

One less headache to worry about, Jack thought happily. Things just keep looking up!

Incredibly, when dinner time rolled around, Tim did not immediately pester Jack about what happened on the road trip. Instead, he regaled everyone with how much of a profit he made selling his sheep, and how Georgie mistakenly believed he had sold Clover, her 4-H sheep, along with the rest of the flock. Jack thought he noticed Jade and Georgie exchange a couple guilty looks during that part of the story. Since no one had yet explained why Dr. Virani’s daughter was with them, he asked as politely as he could.

“So,” he began, casting a look in the teen’s direction, “what’s the deal with you, young lady?”

“Me?” Jade asked innocently. “What d’you mean?”

“I mean: what brings you to Heartland?”

Jack did not miss Tim’s look of consternation. “She’s here because I promised Tricia I would look after her for a couple days while her mother has an operation,” Tim interjected.

“Oh, did you, now?” Jack muttered. “Rare act of charity?”

“You could say that,” Tim answered. “She was in a bind. I couldn’t say ‘no’, Jack.”

Jack nodded agreeably, though he privately wondered, as always, what angle Tim was working, since he seldom did something out of complete altruism.

“Thank you for letting me stay here, Mr. Bartlett,” Jade piped up. “I know I didn’t exactly make a good first impression and all, but I like it here a lot.”

“Is that so?” asked Jack, remembering when the teen stupidly decided to go for a joy-ride in his truck.

“Totally,” Jade replied, pasting a smile on her face.

“Well, isn’t that nice,” Jack commented. “How long do you think you’ll be here?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jade said with a shrug. “But my grandmother should be out of the hospital by now. I guess my mom will be flying back home soon.”

“That’s good,” Jack said before returning to his meal.

“Now, Jack,” Tim said, “be nice. After all, Tricia is your doctor now. You want her to still make house calls, right?”

“I am being ‘nice’,” Jack retorted, narrowing his eyes at Tim.

“No, you’re being grumpy. What, things not go as you planned on that road trip with Lisa?” Tim asked, thinking he had found a weak spot to exploit.

Jack put down his knife and fork. There it was: the question he knew was coming. “That is none of your business, Tim, despite you poking your nose in it all the time.”

“Shame.” Tim shook his head pityingly. “You had all that time together with Lisa—alone—and you blew it. Again.”

Irritated now, Jack said: “I didn’t ‘blow’ anything. As a matter of fact, I told Lisa exactly how I felt about her and that I wanted her to stay.”

This seemed to surprise Tim. “You did?”

“I did,” Jack confirmed.

“And what did she say?”

“She said she needed to think about it.”

Tim’s face fell in disappointment. By now, Georgie and Jade were squirming uncomfortably at the direction of this conversation.

“Who’s ‘Lisa’?” Jade whispered to Georgie.

“Jack’s old girlfriend,” Georgie whispered back.

“Jack had a girlfriend?” Jade asked a little louder than intended.

“’Had’ is right,” Tim said, having heard Jade’s question. “Until he let her get away.”

“All right, enough,” Jack groused in annoyance. “I did not let her ‘get away’!”

“That’s not the way I see it,” Tim muttered under his breath.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, and I’m going to tell you again that’s enough,” Jack said, glaring at Tim.

By now, Georgie and Jade were looking desperate for a change in topic. “Hey, do we have anything for dessert? I’m still hungry,” Jade said, hoping it was enough of an interruption to derail the conversation.

“Yeah, dessert would be great!” Georgie agreed brightly.

Tim rolled his eyes; Jack was secretly grateful for Jade’s less-than-polite request.

***

As much as Lisa wanted to simply head to bed after having showered and eaten a quick meal, it was still early enough to catch her real estate agent. The conversation was a simple one: Lisa advised the woman she would be turning down the offer from the potential buyer; furthermore, Fairfield was to be taken off the market until further notice.

“Is everything all right?” the realtor asked, surprise mixed with a touch of dismay evident in her tone.

“Yes, everything is fine,” Lisa said, a smile playing on her lips. “I’ve just decided I need to stay in Hudson for much longer than I originally anticipated...”

With that issue taken care of, Lisa next placed a call to her sister in Montreal. “I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Rachel,” she began.

“Not at all,” Rachel responded.

“I wanted you to know I’ve decided against selling the family place.”

“What? Really!” Rachel nearly squealed. “What happened? Did you and Jack make up?”

“Umm... not quite,” Lisa said, enjoying holding her younger sibling in this tiny piece of suspense.

“What’s going on, then?”

“We got stranded on a road trip to Montana yesterday,” Lisa said. “Things were said. Some very good things. In fact, he said the very things I always hoped he would say. He doesn’t know about Fairfield yet, but I am going to tell him tomorrow morning after we’ve both had a chance to get some rest.”

“So... you’re not back together again... ‘yet’. Is that what I’m hearing?”

“Exactly,” Lisa said.

“Well, that’s real good news, sis,” Rachel said. “I’m so happy for you. You sound happy, too; happier than I’ve heard you sound in forever.”

“That’s because I am,” Lisa affirmed, the smile lingering on her lips. “I am.”

“After all you’ve been through, I wish you two the best,” said Rachel.

“Thanks, sis,” Lisa said. “That’s pretty much all I called to tell you, so have a good night and we’ll talk again soon, okay?”

“You bet, sis,” Rachel responded. “Good night.”

***

“Grandpa, it’s Lisa,” Amy said, when she saw the woman’s number on the call display on the kitchen extension. Jack dropped the morning paper as if it were burning his fingers. As quickly as his arthritic legs could carry him, he jumped from his seat and bounded over to the phone.

“Hello, Lis!” he greeted her brightly.

“Good morning, Cowboy,” Lisa said gaily. “Is it okay if I stop by in about a half-hour?”

“Of course it’s okay,” Jack replied. “I’ve been expecting you, after all...”

“Right,” Lisa said. “See you soon.”

“See you soon,” Jack echoed, and heard the click in his ear that told him Lisa had ended the call. Right away, he set a fresh pot of coffee brewing.

Amy observed his movements and thought to herself something had changed in him overnight. Something, or someone had re-lit the spark in him that had been missing ever since suffering the heart attack. Without thinking too hard about it, Amy had a pretty good idea who that someone was, and she was pleased her grandfather had not given up on that person. Good for you, Grandpa, she thought as she sipped her tea. Dad might have nearly screwed everything up for you earlier, but I’m so glad you and Lisa seem to have found your way back to each other.

Jack caught himself humming while pouring himself another cup of coffee for the wait. The morning sun was shining brightly, clear evidence the stormy weather had moved on. He sat himself down on the bench on the front porch, keeping his eyes open for Lisa’s arrival. He refused to think she would be bringing news he did not want to hear. As such, his mind was already running ahead of him: to what he would say, and how he would show her he meant what he said about loving her and wanting her to stay.

You’re not committed to me!

Lisa’s complaint from their early days needed to be crushed for good, Jack thought. I’m ready for that commitment, Lis, and I think you are, too. All he had to do now was find the right time to prove it to her.

Almost as if she had set a timer, Lisa pulled up and parked her car thirty minutes after her call. Jack put down his mug and went to meet her.

“Hi,” she said, a sly smile forming on her lips.

“Hi,” Jack replied, taking in her freshly styled tresses. He listened with a burning heart as she informed him she had taken Fairfield off the market for now. She searched his eyes for some sign this was the answer to his question he was hoping to hear.

It did not even matter to him she added “for now”. He further did not even care she was keeping Cinders. All that mattered was she was here and she was staying. It would be up to him to convince her to change that “for now” to “forever”.

That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long, long time, Lis, he thought, as he lifted his hat from his head and pulled her in for a deep kiss. She laughed happily, thrilled her news had elicited this response from him. She pressed her lips to his again, just for good measure.

When they pulled back from each other, Jack’s face had grown serious. “You won’t regret it,” he said. And she could tell he meant it.

Chapter 27: Love is a Fire

#heartland #heartland fanfic #heartland fanfiction #Jack Bartlett #Lisa Stilman #JISA #My fics #Wide River to Cross #update #Chapter 26 #We'll Get to the Other Side #Jack and Lisa

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logsfm · 4 years ago

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hey my loves ! i’m mia , 21 from the east coast ! i have not roleplayed in sheeeesh ... like five or six months ? but i am so excited to be here for opening with all of y’all . i spent like all morning trying to weed out this gal logan right here ... she’s a trip , that’s the best overall description i have for ya . anywho , lets get to the actual thing you’re here for her lil intro . also if you wanna mssg on discord here ya go 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐬 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#7040 .

logan samara-de jaager was spotted in the fashion district adorning air force 1’s university blue , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to benz i know by kelvyn colt . you may know them as @delogan or as that bella hadid lookalike . their twenty fourth birthday just passed . while living in the upper east side , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be querulous but on the other hand passionate . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cisfemale / she/her + mia / twenty one / she/her ) + ( “ logan de jaager seen shoving ex in hotel footage during heated argument , not so sweet huh? ” / “ miss de jaager was spotted sneaking into ex beau’s apartment , what could she be up to? ” / “ sweet socialite or greedy trust fund baby ? milan de jaager publicly accuses daughter logan of stealing $1M … ” )

born into the true lap of luxury . the daughter of real estate magnate & high - profile attorney milan de jaager and his wife , british born socialite lana samara . the two of them held high favor within the 1% but were also able to find a perfect balance . they did a great job of separating personal life from the tabloids . it was rare to really know the happenings of their day to day . they had this particular kind of mystery to them , if you will .

it wasn’t long before lana began to instill the very same rhetoric she received as a child into her own . quality over quantity , was the motto . just not in the way you’d assume . the quality at which a de jaager presented themselves to you was much more important than than quantity of time you spent with them . looks ? they’re everything , in the de jaager household . time was simply a societal construct implemented to catch you on a bad day , for that very line of thinking they embodied being late . rushing out of the house to finish your make up in the car ? a literal sin in the eyes of her mother .

she was encouraged to take part in ballet and beauty pageants growing up . anything that could showcase how beautiful their daughter was lana and milan were on board for . personally logan hated ballet but she couldn’t deny she loved the applause the night of a showcase . she also couldn’t stand pageants but loved having all eyes on her as she went on stage .

it became quite clear as the years went on that her parents were much more like close friends to their daughter than like rule - instilling guardians . she would text them to dismiss her from school , get them to buy her & her friends alcohol for sleepovers / parties , was very much so that kid who got high with her parents . really anything you could do with your friends ? was fair game with logan & her folks .

at sixteen a friend of her moms who was going to be a designer for spring fashion week that year asked if logan would want to walk for him . she was quick to accept the offer and before she knew it she had multiple offers to walk in that years fall fashion weeks , because of how easy it came to her - though , she’s the first to admit she never really took modeling all that seriously .

it was just a year later that her way of life changed drastically , logan and her twin brother had been caught by paparazzi on a friends boat in the hamptons snorting a white substance , anyone with eyes knew exactly what the group of teenagers were doing . upon returning home the two received the crackdown of the century . their once friendly parents turned to strict jail like guardians . often reminded that they put the families reputation at stake . the pressure to be perfect was something logan had never had to deal with until now & she almost cracked under the pressure at every turn .

it wasn’t until she left for college that she was finally given some room to breathe , attending the university of florida was the best choice for what logan truly wanted to do with her life - become a sports analyst . growing up she was infatuated with sports & and would have been involved in much more than just cheerleading had her mom allowed for her to get so much as a speck of dirt on her . during her time in florida the paparazzi seemed to find her more often than not , something her parents often denounced both over the phone & in public . the longer she spent away from the upper east side the more she became america’s sweetheart & simultaneously a thorn in her parents side . she graduated from university in 2018 , only returning back to new york for the sake of work . she’d been offered a reporting job with espn , on top of taking up modeling gigs here & there when ever she felt necessary .

personality …

one thing is very true about the de jaager’s & is very much so the same for logan ; she is not to be trusted . she can be extremely charming when she wants to be . she could sell a bag of rocks to a beach & get a princess to sell her sole to sex work . she knows exactly what people want to hear & when they want to hear it and has no qualms about lying straight to someone’s face if it means she gets something out of it . in fact sometimes , she might lie to your face just for the sheer fun of being able to call you gullible .

she’s very much so a spoiled brat although she hates when anyone call her one , she feels like she has more layers to her than that broad term . hand in hand with that is her drama queen like tendencies , any situation were there is a simple solution she will find a way to blow vastly out of portion .

due to her mother’s heavy influence growing up , she can be rather vein & materialistic . catch her like “ i can’t date a garbage person ” to someone simply because they’re not as rich or known enough for her liking .

it’s rare that you’ll ever see her jump out of character . she’s very calculated & aware of who she is ( or who she needs to seem like ) so if you ever see her emotions getting the better of her , you’ve really broken her .

she’s the type to dabble in a little bit of anything ? she’s a rich nyc party girl who’s been partying well before anyone should have allowed her to so she’s done it all . you’d be kidding yourself to think you could surprise / scare logan on a wild night out .

she’s quick & creative with her sense of humor . she has both a crude / dry sense of humor , as well , and really just doesn’t find goofy things to be funny but more or less embarrassing ( so if she ever tells you you’re goofy , remember it’s not a compliment ) .

her upbringing & parents sentiment on tabloids once reflected massively on logan , but now she couldn’t quite care less about it all . after all she spends hours in front of cameras on a regular basis for work . although she does tend to shy away from people who she deems are hungry for fame or attention . she’s been used in the past for fame & will never let it happen again , plus she’s the type to lap up attention so she likes to have as little fame whores around her as possible , more shine for her .

when she isn’t being a total nightmare though she’s actually really fun to be around ? she’s playful & loves to keep the party alive . often can be found claiming “ i’m high on life ” although everyone saw the pictures , logan , we know what you’re really high on , girl .

very chatty girl , too . victim of foot - in - mouth syndrome , big time . she doesn’t try to be disloyal & spill people’s secrets ( or does she ? ) but she can’t help herself . if she has piping hot tea she’s gonna spill it because she doesn’t wanna burn herself .

very observant girl , who loves to people watch but her observations can sometimes get muddled when she starts judging people a little too hardcore .

she’s also a undercover couch potato & by that i mean if you give her an option to go out & do something she’ll never outwardly choose to stay home to watch netflix and snuggle up under the blankets but secretly she’s hoping & praying she gets a chance to do so .

plots ...

END THIS ( L.O.V.E ) / her first love . these two brought the absolute worst out of one another . they messed her up so much that she has a weird perspective on what love between two s/o’s should even feel like now . maybe they had another s/o at the same time as her & kinda just strung her on & when it came out were able to lie so much to her that she believed them . idk , in truth we could really plot something completely different as to what they did & inevitably what the breaking point was . maybe they broke up with her & had they not ended it maybe she would’ve still been okay with being in the relationship . idk i just feel like this one could be fun as hell . also they’d be the one whom she was caught arguing with in one of her headlines . ( 0 / 1 )

AFTER PARTY / this is a more reckless take of party buddies . im envisioning a group of people who when the parties over they all pull up to close by gulf course , indulge even more in their choices of substance , there is a naked gulf tournament going on , there are drunks driving golf carts , swerving and pouring bacardi all over the course . running from security when they pop up . it’s tradition at this point & if someone doesn’t come it’s almost disrespectful at this point . idk i just love the thought of this kinda vibe . ( 2 / ? )

SECRETS / okay so this one is messy . basically logan was very private for most of her life ( thanks mom & dad ) and during the early stages of highschool she lied to everyone saying she was a virgin . she told each one of these individuals that they were her first whether it be to make them fall for her “ innocence ” , want to chase after her , or whatever else we might be able to plot out . inevitably they compare notes at some point and find out that she’d been lying to them all . we can plot out how they confronted her i feel like we could make this real dramatic though . this would also be a backstory plot so , we can also plot out how things have transpired since for them . ( 0 / 3 or 4 )

BEST FRIEND / these two girls take best friends to the next level . they relate to one another on every level and are there for one another at all times . there is never a moment where they are competing with one another because they know that their #1 in there respective category . they are one another’s ultimate hype beasts . they truly embody chaotic goddess vibes . it’s like they were placed on this earth simply to be friends because they compliment one another that well . ( 0 / 1 )

LETS FALL IN LOVE FOR THE NIGHT / they are the one that’s there whenever she’s down . they have the ability to make her feel like they have some sort of old love whenever she’s around them . those feelings only last for the night though . they enjoy when she rambles on about sports or the novel she just recently read or really just anything she enjoys can put a smile on their face . they know better than to ever confuse what is going on between them though , they know that she’ll never be theirs . whether they’re okay with this or not we can definitely plot out . ( 0 / 1 )

MOANA / they are not a fan of logan . they see her for what she is : an attention seeking , spoiled brat and the fact that they don’t want anything to do with her makes her want them all the more . when they finally slept with her it was only to prove a point to her s/o at the time , to prove that she’s not the sweet girlfriend she claimed to be . basically they’re the person who outed her for being a ho ho ho but despite knowing that they outed her for that she still tries to hook up with them because they were the best she ever had . they often turn her down but after a while not even they can deny that they’re attracted to her . they still don’t fuck with her though . also i think it’d be cool if their were two of them & maybe they worked together to out her to her s/o that didn’t believe she was a cheater ( 0 / 2 ) also bring the s/o that they outed her to ( 0 / 1 )

ELEVEN / the type of relationship that is stuck in the grey area . they’re more than friends but they don’t necessarily admit to having feelings for one another . honestly they probably don’t even think they have feelings for one another . it’s a weird dynamic . they spend the most of their time together late at night . there meeting time ? 11pm . they go on wild joy rides to the beach . heads out of the sun roof as they let out a loud woo . the only thing accompanying them is a big bag of weed . sometimes they have deep talks , honestly they probably know more about one another than anyone else ? because of these adventurous of theirs . when they aren’t having deep talks they’re running across the beach aimlessly & rolling around in the sand with one another . it’s really just a very pure plot that i need in my life . ( 0 / 1 )

TRUST NOBODY / this is someone who used logan for fame / attention . they either became close friends or even started dating & they used everything they learned about her or what went on between them to relay back to a tabloid / would call paparazzi to come and take pictures of them together whenever they’d go out . ( 0 / 1 )

some other plot ideas i’d love to see : x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x .

#wealthyhq:intro #hellurrrr *

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suwya · 4 years ago

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Till the Stars Had Run Away - Chapter 5

Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."

Rating: M

Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

AO3

A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta I could ever ask for . And thank to all of you who are reading this.

Chapter 5 . .

“Do not wait to strike

till the iron is hot;

but make it hot

by striking.”

(W. B. Yeats)

Everyone on the Jolly Roger was almost ready to start the journey back home and the crew was busy sorting out the last details. In the end, the little holiday had been a pleasant one; Emma was happy she had decided to embark on this adventure. But she also looked a bit worried. Wrinkles showed up on her forehead while she was chewing her bottom lip. “Henry, would you mind checking if everything is in order in our cabin?”

As soon as the kid left the main hall, Emma approached Killian. “Can I talk to you for one second?”

Killian observed how she was acting anxiously, often checking on the door in case Henry would come back. “No need to find an excuse with your boy. If you want to spend some time alone with me, you just have to ask.” He tried to minimize the moment.

She answered him with a roll of her eyes, but it was clear that something was bothering her. “Are we leaving already?” She asked.

“Probably not before tomorrow morning. I need some more time to replace the fuel and our water supplies.”

“Oh, okay.” Was her short reply. But Killian detected apprehension.

“What’s the rush?” He inquired.

She dismissed the matter with a wave of her hand and he decided to take advantage of the moment alone with her. “Why did you accept?” He suddenly asked. “To come on this trip.” He added to her puzzled expression.

“I just want to offer Henry every possible chance to live a life full of good experiences.”

Killian hummed, but he had a feeling there was something more. He made another step towards her, invading her space, and he could now distinguish the freckles that dotted her cheeks, which he found very endearing. He tilted his head and kept his eyes connected with hers, trying to read what she was not telling him.

Emma did not step back nor she lowered her stare, but she was biting her lower lip again. "And I have a lead." She admitted eventually.

He didn't see that coming and arched an eyebrow in question. "Come again?"

She looked briefly over her shoulder towards the door, but Henry wasn't in sight. "I may have found someone that could have information about my adoptive parents and their plan," she whispered in case Henry could hear her, "I know where this person is, but I don’t know how to reach him."

Killian was all ears even though he somehow already knew he wouldn't like what was coming next.

"I need a favor,” she started explaining. “This man, he appears to be on a planet… ahm...” She handed him a little piece of paper with some coordinates. “Here, see? Do you think we could make a stopover there on our way back home?”

Killian glanced briefly at the numbers written on the paper and nodded. An unpleasant feeling of anxiety was growing inside him.

“I have already arranged an appointment, well sort of, with this guy.” Emma went on. “I can set the meeting at an hour when Henry should be already asleep. He doesn't usually wake up at night, but in case he does… would you distract him until I come back?"

"What kind of appointment? Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Will you?" She insisted, avoiding his questions.

Killian sighed. "On one condition.”

“Shoot."

“What’s this guy’s name?” Killian asked as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Emma stared at him for a few seconds. “Are you going to check on him?”

“Of course I will.”

“I have already done that. Thank you, but you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m the captain here, and I have to take all the possible precautions when it comes to my ship. And you meeting someone whose name I don’t even know could represent a risk.” Killian was starting to lose his patience. Everything about this appointment was screaming danger.

Emma crossed her arms in front of her defensively, but in the end, she surrendered. “Fine. His name is Sidney Glass and he’s a journalist, he’s not a criminal or anything. He travels a lot, that’s why I’m pretty sure he’s got more current information than what I have about New-Tolemac.”

“So what’s the plan, Swan? Seduce him until he speaks?” He asked sardonically.

“Would it be any problem?” She retorted.

He swallowed hard. “I don’t like it. If he’s a journalist, it won’t be easy to make him spill any possible secret he may know.”

Emma looked behind her back again. Still no sign of her son. “Will you take care of Henry or not?”

Killian finally nodded. “I assure you, nothing will happen to the boy while he’s in my charge.” But his gut told him he was already regretting the decision.

~·~·~·~

Days passed quietly. Killian tried to bring up the topic from time to time, but she wasn’t keen on talking about her upcoming appointment, always avoiding his questions and rapidly changing the subject. She was also spending less and less time sitting near him in the main cabin at night, just in case he started worrying again. He suspected she knew that meeting this man could be risky, but he soon learned how stubborn she could be, especially with a goal in mind.

That’s why he was surprised when the evening before the scheduled appointment she approached him while cooking dinner. Henry was sitting nearby, immersed in his tablet.

“What the hell is that thing?” She asked pointing to a big hairy bug Killian was holding.

“It’s a mottled furry cockroach.” He answered as the most obvious thing.

“Yuck!” Emma scrunched her nose in disgust. “It’s huge!”

“This one? Oh, no, it’s just a baby. Grown-ups can reach even 3.5 feet length.” Killian seemed delighted.

“Is it dead?”

“Of course it is. One little bite of this creature and you’re going to pass some nasty hours of life. Its foam is poisonous.” He explained.

“And what exactly are we going to do with it?”

“Why, eat it!” Was his answer. “It’s our dinner.”

“You are not being serious, are you?”

“Believe me, with a nut of garlic butter and some secret spices only I know, it’s exquisite.”

She moved close to him, probably more than necessary. He shot an inquisitive look at her. She spoke as lower as she could so that Henry couldn't listen. “Are you trying to poison me, so that I can’t go to my appointment?”

He turned towards her and stared directly into her eyes, his face mere inches from hers. “Try something new, love, it’s called trust.” And he could sense a sudden shift in her behavior, even though he didn't know if it was because she was making an effort and opening her trust to him or if it was because they were standing so close he could feel her warm breath on his face. They stayed like that for a few beats of their hearts.

“Could you please stop making eyes at each other when I'm in the same room? It's gross.” Henry said behind them.

Emma hurried back to the table “I don't do that”, she stated, while Killian tried to concentrate on the ingredients in front of him even if he couldn't suppress a smile. What the hell was with this woman that made him act like a teenager with his first crush?

As soon as the meal was prepared Killian served it on a metallic tray accompanied by some rehydrated vegetables. When all were served with their portion of food, he opened a bottle of yellow sauce and poured just the right amount on the plates. After that, he sat down waiting for his guests’ reactions.

Emma was fidgeting with her fork, moving pieces of food from one side of the plate to the other.

Henry was the first one in giving in to it, always famished. “It's not bad at all!” He exclaimed enthusiastically.

Killian put his right elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. He was staring expectantly at Emma.

“Okay, let's do this!” She breathed. And then she put a piece of meat in her mouth and closed her eyes, probably for savoring it better, or maybe for just not seeing what she was eating. After a couple of seconds, she emitted a sound that Killian would describe as a moan “God. This is delicious!” She purred.

Killian’s mouth fell open. He was conscious of ogling her and his pupils were probably already dilated, but he couldn't help himself.

As soon as Emma opened her eyes and met his, a bright red color flushed her cheeks, but Killian couldn't figure out if it was because she suddenly understood what she had just done, or because his inappropriate thoughts were written all over his face like an open book.

“Guys, you're doing it again.” Henry managed to say with his mouth full of food without averting his eyes from his plate.

The rest of the dinner passed in awkward silence.

~·~·~·~

It was already dark when Emma emerged from her door, wearing a skin-tight black dress that left little to the imagination. A dark leather jacket that she wore hanging from one shoulder and high heels of the same color completed her outfit.

Killian was just walking from the main cabin to the ship's entrance when he stopped short: jaw dropped, admiring the vision before him. "You look stunning." He breathed.

He tried to move towards her as casually as possible, adjusting his trousers to relieve the sudden unpleasant pressure and praying to the gods that she didn't notice it. But of course, she did, if her quick look down and a sudden blush on her cheeks were any indication.

"Good." She exhaled not making eye contact with him.

"Remind me why letting you go alone is a good idea." He spoke in a low voice at a cautious distance from her, restraining the urge to put a rebellious lock behind her ear.

"I can take care of myself." She stated finally looking defiantly in his eyes.

"I’m aware of that. But that Glass man, you don't know anything about him. Just be careful."

She swayed a bit towards him, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're being jealous." She was teasing him, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know it. But that wasn't the time to play that game, so he just gave her a warning look.

"Don't fuck it up." She smiled, and then she stepped next to him, invading him with her scent. She put her mouth to his ear and whispered: “And yes, the pun was intended.”

With that, she turned back and made her exit through the main gate.

Bloody Hell! Killian thought.

~·~·~·~

As soon as Emma left the ship, Killian sat down at his control board and switched on his computer. He inserted the name of Sidney Glass and waited until he had all the results. He had already checked on the man several times, but he hadn’t found anything conclusive yet. Maybe there wasn’t anything to find out, but something inside him was telling him to keep looking.

Not much appeared on the screen. A bunch of local prizes for articles he had written years ago. Appearances in several news conferences on various planets. He didn’t seem to have a family and he had traveled a lot.

This was frustrating. Sidney looked clean, this should have reassured him, and yet... But then two words appeared on the screen: "Lepka Industry". The man had worked for the Industry at an early age. It couldn't be a coincidence, could it? Killian thought.

What are you getting into? The LED light started to blink.

“Not now, Liam.” Was Killian’s short answer.

If I were you, I would go back to Althea-Seals as soon as possible, deposit that woman and her lad safe at home, and forget about them forever.

“Well, luckily, you’re not me.”

You don't know her, brother, you have no idea what troubles she could bring. And any connection with the Industry, even the most feeble one, means danger. You, of all people, should know that. Listen to me, Killian. Forget about her, before it's too late.

A voice inside Killian whispered to listen to his older brother, always with words of wisdom. But another voice, louder, was suggesting to ignore him. “Maybe it's already too late.” He sighed. .

~·~·~·~

. And it was late, indeed. Literally. Too much for his likes. More than three hours had passed since Emma had gone out, and she hadn’t come back yet. Killian was starting to feel anxious. What if something had happened to her? And he was stuck on his ship, taking care of her son. He went to the kitchen counter and poured a glass of his favorite liquor. He stared at it but didn’t drink it. He shouldn't indulge in its temptation. Henry was sleeping just a door down from him.

He was still pondering the option of swallowing the amber liquid or not when Emma opened the main gate with the code Killian had previously given to her.

First thing inside she took off her high heeled shoes, balancing precariously on her wobbly legs. She looked very tired.

“I’m exhausted” she exhaled “and I had too many drinks.”

“How was your date?” He tried to ask nonchalantly. He didn't want to show her how annoyed he was, but he couldn't help a scowl.

“It wasn't a date.” Was her dry reply.

He released a sarcastic chuckle.

She watched him carefully, “Are you drunk?”

“I would never do that while in charge of your boy, Swan.” His patience was hanging by a thread.

Emma approached him. Killian straightened his back and stared into her eyes, trying to keep control of the situation, and not wanting to give her the privilege of berating him without case, but his confidence had never intimidated her. She looked at the glass he was still holding and took it from his grasp drinking it down as if it were water. He was impressed, he knew his rum should have burned her throat.

“You still haven't answered my question.” He insisted.

“I don't know.” Was her evasive answer.

“And what does that mean?”

She shrugged. “I had some news, but not what I expected to hear.”

Bloody infuriating woman. Killian internally cursed. “Good or bad news?”

She exchanged the glass with the bottle on the counter and drank directly from that. “I don't want to talk right now.” She had no intention of divulging more information, it was clear in her posture. She was trying hard to maintain control over the situation.

He was not one to back down from a challenge. “And what do you want to do?”

At her lack of reply, he pressed “Did he touch you?”

She took another sip without averting her eyes from his, but without answering either.

To hell with personal space, he thought. With a quick movement, he took the bottle from her and deposited it in the sink, then he cornered her between himself and the kitchen counter. “Did you have fun, Princess?” He asked, mocking her royal title.

“You don't have a right to question my actions, Jones.”

“Believe me, I'm very well aware of it!” He stated, punctuating the last consonant, his face at mere inches from hers. The first thing Killian registered was that she lowered her eyes to his mouth. The second thing was that she vehemently grabbed the lapels of his vest. The third was the distinct sensation of her burning lips on his. And he had the clear impression that in the kiss she was putting all of her frustrations, and all of her hopes, and all of her exhaustion, and whatever other feeling she was experiencing.

It was frantic and desperate and hot. And Killian’s head was swirling: because of the lack of oxygen, because everything in her was intoxicating because he was already addicted and she was his drug.

“That was…” he murmured when they had to split up to recover some air.

But she didn't let him finish. “A one-time thing.” She disentangled from him and when she reached her cabin without looking back she said “goodnight Captain,” and disappeared behind the door. .

~·~·~·~

When Emma got out of bed the next morning, she had a dull headache from her hangover and a feeling that something was wrong. The ship was swaying, Killian had probably taken off during night, not wanting to waste other time to get home. Her mind immediately flew to him and the last moments of the previous day.

She had kissed him. Why? What had she been thinking? She told herself that she had probably drunk more than she could handle and she shouldn't give it any importance, but would go on behaving towards Killian exactly as she had done before. Nothing would change. They were both adults and it had been just a kiss.

But what a hell of a kiss it was. She couldn’t avoid thinking about it.

She couldn't fool herself either. She felt attracted to him, and he was probably aware of it, too. With his self-confidence, his lean torso, his ever unkempt dark hair, and his scruffy stubble. But Emma was not one who easily surrendered to a man's charms. She didn't want to get lost in the ocean blue of his eyes. She wanted to be found. The problem was that she didn't know if she could trust him.

But it was not just the turmoil of a morning after that was bothering her, something wasn’t right, she could sense it. A shake and a loud noise confirmed her foreboding. Henry woke up with a start and they briefly looked at each other before bursting into the main cabin. “What was that?” They asked in unison.

The ship was shaking and Killian had visible difficulties keeping it stable. The knuckles of his right hand were white with the effort and his bionic hand was in an impossible position. Through the windows, they could spot a very close planet.

The red LED was blinking and the metallic voice resounded in the cabin: Damages on the orbital maneuvering system and the vertical stabilizer, one of the propulsion engines is offline. I’m asking permission for landing, but I’m not getting any signals back.

Something shiny passed close to the ship.

“Was that a meteorite?” Henry asked.

“I have no idea what that was. The moment we entered the gravitational layer of this bloody planet, those bright flying things appeared out of nowhere.”

“Are we being attacked?” Was Emma’s worried question. “And why did we go so close to land?”

“There wasn’t supposed to be a planet here!” Killian was almost shouting from frustration.

Another loud bang shook the ship even worse.

“To hell with permissions! Hold tight, we’re landing over there.” He exclaimed, pointing to what looked like a spaceship's port.

Emma sat down on the same chair she used to sit at night. Then took Henry’s arm as an invitation to sit upon her knees and so Killian could keep doing his job without interference. The boy was already reaching for the man in his endless need to be helpful, he probably thought that he could give a hand in holding up the steering. But another flashing thing hit the ship and a piercing alarm started echoing through the cabin. That deterred Henry and he sat upon Emma’s lap, grabbing his mother's shoulders to avoid falling as a strong jolt shook the ship to its foundations.

While they approached the ground, big rocks appeared outside the windows, floating, and they became incandescent as soon as they came in contact with whatever atmosphere was surrounding the planet.

Was this land itself spitting meteorites? Killian tried to understand what was happening, but even if he had traveled to many different places, he had never seen anything like that. He was also worried about his crew, he wanted to look at them, be sure they were all right, but he was too concentrated on avoiding the rocks and not getting hit again.

The port was approaching fast. Killian internally prayed to the Gods above that the brakes would still work properly. He just hoped that someone could rescue the three of them alive.

After what seemed to be a long and quite difficult maneuver, the ship touched down. He turned off the engines and everything went silent. They looked at each other, waiting for a sign of life, but nothing came. Killian leaned his head against the back of the chair and exhaled. Then he got up and started rummaging through his belongings.

Emma and Henry were clinging to each other, but the boy slipped away and ran towards Killian hugging him. “You did it!” He exclaimed. The man was taken aback by this show of affection, he scratched a spot behind his right ear and tried to defuse “I’m a hell of a Captain!”

Killian took a shoulder bag from behind his hammock, and two laser pistols, delivering one of them to Emma. “What are you doing?” She asked, holding cautiously the weapon in her hand.

“We sent a request for an emergency landing and nobody answered. This planet does not appear in any known charts. I am taking the necessary precautions, it's best to be prepared for anything, good or bad.”

“I want a weapon, as well.” Henry stood there with his back straight and his hands on his hips, to reaffirm his statement.

“No way.” Emma thought that was enough to put an end to the subject.

“But what if I’m in danger and I need to defend myself?” He insisted stubbornly.

Killian retrieved his automatic harpoon from a locker near the control dashboard. “Take this. Munitions should be downstairs.” But before Henry could run towards the stairs, he grabbed the boy’s elbow and added “Don’t use it unless it’s necessary, lad. And try not to hurt yourself.” Henry nodded and ran away enthusiastically.

Stunned by the remark, Emma stood, mouth agape, staring at Killian. “Are you kidding me?”

“Don’t worry. It probably won’t work. I forgot to recharge it.”

“You forgot to recharge your weapon.” It wasn’t a question.

He was moving fast around the cabin, retrieving who knows what from here and there, packing his satchel “It was supposed to be a simple commercial trip: no big risks.” He stopped right in front of her and raised one eyebrow. “Wasn’t it?”

She looked at him chewing her bottom lip. “What are we going to do?”

“Go outside, have a look at the damages, find the replacement parts, and hope to come back home alive from this place.”

~·~·~·~

. The planet seemed to be desert, apart from the port there was nothing, just sand, and rocks. No people on the horizon.

“This is strange,” Emma said as the three of them were exploring the surrounding area. “Can you feel it too?” A sense of oppression and discomfort pervaded her.

Killian nodded. “It’s too quiet. Something is wrong.”

A large stone flew from nowhere and Killian saw as Henry was right on its trajectory. He launched himself trying to protect the boy from the inevitable collision. The last thing he felt was a sharp pain in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Then everything went black.

#cs ff #cs au #Till the Stars Had Run Away #alternative universe - science fiction #space au #My writing

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stargazerinmoksha · 4 years ago

Text

I am trying to come from a place of understanding, so what I’ll write here will make sense once it is all written down. I have spent a good portion of the last few years inside of this hateful place and to everyone that is still there, I want to be that beacon of hope for you. You will make it out. I lived in this wallowing pit of pity and anger, an anguish so chaotic that it sapped my smile right out of my face. I don’t need to be perfect, I don’t need to be anything, I honestly didn’t even feel like existing. I would wake up and I just hated the feeling of going through the day because of my constant fuck ups and to be honest with you? Was that really any way to live? I tried some acid two months ago and yeah, the visuals were wild, but I went to brush my teeth and for a second I caught a glimpse of my reflection inside of the faucet head and I felt like I saw myself for the very first time. I always hated looking at myself. The cruelty that we deal to ourselves is by far some of the most saddest shit anyone can go through. No one deserves to wake up and feel like that. I just cried. I didn’t know what else to do, I guess my first reaction was to just let it out. To just feel. To feel like I gave enough fucks to tell myself that it’s okay if I’ve been hurt or if I’ve hurt people before. It’s okay, just don’t do it again. A month ago I went on a trip to Colorado and I almost died, I decided to quit smoking cigarettes and vaping period, I wanted to let that part of my life go. I got into a wreck and I almost killed my cousin along with myself. I should’ve bought a pack, but I wanted to stick to it. I wanted to be responsible. It fucked up my little vacation, but I managed to grab some shrooms and went home to see if I could see something.

Yes, this is a story about how I found my faith inside of such tiny things. I hear talks about bad trips and visuals, but I never thought for a second that I would have felt this warm embrace, a love so dear to me— something that I’ve never felt before. Nothing like sex. Nothing like drugs. I know why psychedelics are illegal now, because if everyone went into it with a stable mind and good intentions, the world would find so many answers. I’m not telling you to try it, I’m telling you that our paths all converge eventually. Your karma cycle will repeat itself until you’ve made peace with your demons. I am just a man, but here, I write. My poetry doesn’t sound so sad anymore and that makes me so damn happy. It took me four years to make peace with that part of myself and I know that there’s so many people out there that’s still hurting. I started writing my sappy poetry on tumblr because I couldn’t deal

with my heartache, and a lot of people read and they read and they read some more. I’ve made so many connections through my writings, I’ve become a madman and now I write as easily as breathing, it’s my meditative state. I am telling you all of these personal things because the truth of the matter is that no matter where you go, who you’re with, no matter how bad things get, I wanted you to know that somewhere, someone understands me. Even if for a split second, I want you to know that it does get better. Shrooms showed me where all of our knowledge should be stored, our hearts may break, our minds may succumb to a darkness that only the rarest of flowers may thrive— you are that flower.

You can be big and tough, you can be short and fit, you may not feel like you’re pretty, you may not feel beautiful, you may hate yourself everyday for letting the one get away, you may be the cheater, you may have been cheated on, you may choose to be alone, you might just want to live with your dogs, that’s cool too. There’s love everywhere and you won’t always get along with everyone, that’s okay too. I just want to function from a place of understanding. So this is where I’m at. I love you. I love you regardless if you hate me for being me, even if you think I’ve taken something from you. I love you regardless. I love you even if we don’t talk often, even if we’re on this endless cycle of come back home to me some day. I love you even if you aren’t really who you said you were, I loved you before that knowledge and I will love you then. I love you even if you can only get three hours of sleep a day because on that third hour you have batshit crazy nightmares and call me to help you smile. I love you even if you’ve felt lost and not quite at home, you can always find a home with me. I love you even if you have wronged me and I’ve wronged you back because even if I gave you my heart once, I promise it’s still there. I love you even if you’re unsure about the prospects of an us and that’s okay, as long as you’re trying, I can get down with that. I love you even if it was pure forgetfulness on your part to tell me about yourself and your life, all is forgiven.

I love you even if we sit in silence and I want to hug you and tell you that it’s okay, it’s okay if you didn’t know how to be my dad. You’re here now and that counts. I love you even if you constantly yell and belittle me because I only have one mother in my life and no one can ever replace you. I love you even if you’re dead ass broke and don’t have a single cent to your name, if I fuck with you, I fuck with you, point, blank, period. I love you even if you’re heavily opinionated and all you want to do is talk, I will always have your back. I love you even if you’re extremely stoic as fuck and it get under my empath’s mind, I love you always. I love you so much and I hope all of you grow up to be safe and beautiful. You are so dear to me and you know who you are, I am living on borrowed time and I might not be here by tomorrow, but if you read this just know that it has always been about you. I love you even if you showed your face to me during a time when I was high as fuck, I have such a complex relationship with you God, but I know that you mean well and I can only receive your love and knowledge when I am ready. I love so much and it hurts to love this deep, but I have to make peace with all that I am and if love is the greatest thing that I have to offer, then all that I love is also a part of me. I write to let you know that if this is the worst part of my story, I will write a better ending.

I write this to let you know that self-love starts when you’re ready. It won’t start any sooner than that. And if you try to rush it and go to a place that you’re not supposed to be, you will be sent back like a shooting star that’ll split into two, someone might wish upon you— I am sure you’ll grant their wish. I can only pray that you know I mean well. I hope that you drank some water today, I hope that you ate some food today. I hope that you’re safe and get a chance to know love. Like real love, like for real love, love that hits you up just to smile and laugh with you. Love that lets go of envy and jealousy. I have been there, I’ve done that. I don’t want that in my heart. I want to forgive myself for all of it. You see, love starts there because how can I love anyone if I don’t love myself first. Love starts when you start making changes to how you love. Love starts when you’re ready. So start with yourself, when was the last time you did something nice for yourself? No, not like smoking a joint or taking shrooms haha. More like waking up and doing your blanket as your first kind act of the day, a clean bed will start a clean day. Your room is a direct mirror of your inner world.

Learn more about yourself. Learn about your strengths and weaknesses and I promise, the money will follow. Learn to attract the things that you truly want. The things that truly make your heart feel warmer for the cold days. I want to function from a place of genuine kindness, understanding and love. It’s okay if you hate me, you will find a place in your heart to grow that into something wonderful. Yeah, I’m on my bullshit again, but if you read this whole fucking thing, you’ll know that I meant well. And if you find something in here that’s about you, don’t be afraid to hit me up about it. I wrote it with that in mind. Please enjoy your day and remember, it starts whenever you’re ready. Not any sooner or any later— it begins when you’re content with being here in this moment. The right now, the right here. Don’t worry, you got this because if I made it through, you can too.

— “How can you love anything if you don’t know how to love yourself?”

#poetry #spilled ink #prose #poems #quotes #words #love #quote #a thought or two #thank you for reading

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years ago

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winter prompt fill 5, indruck, nsfw?

5: your car slid into a snowbank and i’m the mechanic that comes to tow you

Two hours.

Two fucking hours, that’s how far this guy is from town. But because he’s three hours from the one to the west, it’s Duck’s company that got the call from AAA for a tow. On night three of what's forecasted as a week-long snowstorm. And because it’s that kind of job, the call came in at 4:45 pm. At least he’ll get overtime for this.

Being out of Kepler means the radio has real stations, half of them playing blocks of pop hits and the other half blaring Christmas carols. Duck doesn’t mind either, settles on listening to crooning about sleigh bells and winter wonderlands as he tries to keep the truck from sliding into snow piles.

He’s all prepared to be aggravated at whoever was clueless enough to get themselves stranded and stick him with the four hour round-trip, but the closer he gets to his destination the more he sympathizes. Because this is a rural two-lane highway and not a major through-road, the maintenance is spotty at best. Couple that with the still-falling snow and he’s just glad the guy was in the kind of accident where he could still make a call after it.

The last half-hour he’s down to thirty miles an hour, lets out a groan of relief when the dead taillights of a car reflect back at him. Once he positions the truck and hops out, he rolls his eyes; the sedan doesn’t have snow tires or chains on, something even a person with a Nevada license plate should have known to carry north.

Duck wonders if being unprepared is a habit when the driver steps out in far too light a coat for the weather, shuddering and stuttering out an “Th-thank g-goodness.”

“Guessin you’re Mr. Wilde?”

Pale hair falls over red glasses as the man nods. With his hood up, he looks owlish, guarded. He’s all limbs and edges, and Duck can’t help but think of a stray cat that needs a warm bed and some food.

“Go ahead and get up into the passenger seat. Heat ain’t runnin, but it’s sure as heck warmer than out here. I’ll get her hitched up and we can get going.”

Another nod, the man hunching forward as he scurries into the truck. This is the easy part, getting the damaged car hooked to the truck and freeing it from the snow. The hard part comes when they turn towards town, two hours of darkness and icy roads ahead of them.

“I’m so sorry you had to come all this way. I, ah, did not intend to crash, nor to do so this far from help.”

“Hey, it’s what we’re here for. Gonna be slow goin on the way back, since it’ll be real fuckin embarassin to call a tow truck for a tow truck.”

A snicker, “I picture them as growing exponentially larger, like nesting dolls. A tow truck towing a tow truck towing a tow truck towing a car would be the size of a semi.”

Duck chuckles, “Yeah, it’d be a sight. And a fuckin nightmare for anyone who got behind it.”

The cab is warming nicely, so his passenger pulls back his hood. In the darkness he can tell the pale hair is metallic silver, and there’s a hell of a bruise blooming on his forehead. Duck’s never seen anyone quite like him, and if their survival didn’t depend on his concentration, he’d spend the next hour studying him.

“Damn, got banged up in the crash huh.”

“Yes.” The man gingerly touches the bruise, sighs, “It’s my own fault for being careless.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, nearly spun out on the way to get you from the damn black ice.”

“I wish I could say that was the sole cause, but I was also asleep.”

Duck bites back the urge to scold him; he wants him to be comfortable around him and besides, even if Duck is having a crappy night, this guy is having an even worse one.

“Wouldn’t be the first person who thought they could make it one more town before stoppin for the night and was wrong.”

“True. It’s just that, ah, I’ve been driving three days straight without sleep.”

“Jesus Christ, you on the lamb or somethin?”

In his periphery, he swears the taller man flinches.

“No. Just having bad luck with a chaser of poor choices.”

“Gotcha.” Duck drums on the wheel, “so, uh, Mr. Wilde, what do you do when you ain’t stuck in the snow?”

“I draw. And Indrid is fine…” he peers awkwardly at Duck’s name tag, “Duck.”

“It’s a nickname.”

“Ah. Are you a mechanic as well as a driver?”

“Yep. Do it part-time when I’m not workin at the national forest. Friend of mine, Ned, runs the garage attached to the Cryptonomica.”

“I recall seeing that when I drove through. Quite the Jacks of all trades, you two,”

“Most of Kepler’s got more’n one job. It’s the kind of place that’s always losin fundin or people, just barely stayin afloat.”

“One sympathizes. Do you like your jobs?”

“Trained in forestry, so it’s always what I’ve wanted to do. The mechanic stuff,” Duck shrugs, “nice workin with my hands and beein able to help folks out. And I ain’t half bad at it.”

“I certainly appreciate your efforts. I--wait, hold on, I’m sorry but I need to…” he turns up the radio, playing what Duck assumed was Santa Baby from the melody.

“He is saying ‘buddy.’ What in the world? Why would you change it?”

“Can’t have the fella in the red velvet suit thinkin you’re gay.” Duck jokes.

“Heaven forbid.” Indrid smiles, and Duck likes the expression so much he decides to see if he can get him to do it again.

“You wanna hear a slightly inappropriate joke?”

“Absolutely.”

“How come Santa don’t have any kids?”

“How come?”

“Because he only comes once a year and it’s down a chimney.”

There’s a beat and then Indrid guffaws, covering his face with his hands as his whole body shakes with amusement, “that was horrible, do you have any more?”

Thank god he’s got a wealth of bad jokes tucked in his brain. When he exhausts those he and Indrid trade brainteasers, stopping now and then to talk about their lives. The taller man asks Duck about his jobs, about the woods, and the town, and offers a few anecdotes in exchange. Duck senses they’re about they’re set in a time in his life that’s further away than Indrid would like.

Indrid also readily shares the snacks from his small backpack. Duck eats what he can while still safely piloting the car. Then nearly takes them across the yellow line when Indrid unwraps a Starburst with his tongue, and prays the man will stay in Kepler long enough for Duck to take him to dinner.

-------------------------------------

Given he was expecting a painfully awkward trip at best, Duck’s friendliness is a welcome surprise. Now that they’ve been stuck in the car together for close to two hours, Indrid is confident saying this is most fun he’s had talking to someone in a long time, even before things went all to hell.

It helps that Duck is the picture you’d get if you googled “Indrid Cold’s type”; sturdy, handsome in an unassuming way, undoubtedly pleasant to cuddle, with muscles that Indrid is positive could hold him up against a wall for at least a few minutes. In another life, one that’s so far away he fears he imagined it, he’d wait until they were done with the business portion of this evening, then slip Duck a card with his name in silver letters and his hotel room number on the back. The man is so genuine in his kindness too, Indrid feeling safer in the dark with him than he’s felt in years.

Which makes him feel even worse about what he’s going to do.

“Not too far now.” Duck turns the windshield wipers up a notch, “thank fuck for that.”

Indrid curls forward, holding his stomach, “I, ah, I really hate to say this, but I’m afraid my gas station lunch is coming back up.”

“Shit, okay, lemme pull over.” Duck guides the truck onto the side of the road, “do what you gotta do.”

His hands are on his lap, keys still dangling from the ignition. Indrid lunges over, grabbing them and trying to shove Duck into the door in one go. The mechanic is too fast, yanking the keys to his chest.

“What the fuck man!?”

“I’m so sorry about this!”

“Then fuckin stop!” Duck kicks, misses, and Indrid knees him in the stomach as gently as he can.

“I can’t, I need the truck.”

“Are you fuckin car-jackin me right now?”

“It’s not personal.” He gets the keys away, only for the world to flip ninety degrees as Duck tackles him backwards.

“It sure feels like it is!”

Indrid hoped that his survival instincts would kick in hard enough to make up for the exhaustion and that coupled with the element of surprise would bring him success. Instead, his limbs have no power behind them, and all he can do is curse when the driver flips him onto his stomach, trapping his hands behind his back and pinning him with his body weight.

“Fuck.” It’s a pathetic noise for a pathetic man.

“Explain. Now.” Duck growls.

“I, I, you were right when asked if I was on the lamb.”

“....fuckin what?”

“It was a set up, and I finally, finally got free, and, and I will not go back, I can’t, but if I’m out a car I need a replacement and-”

“And you almost stole a truck that’s got a goddamn tracker in it.”

“Oh.” He presses his face to the seat in shame.

“Somethin tells me you ain’t a seasoned crook.”

“I’m not a criminal at all! I have no idea what I’m doing. I was just going to drive and drive until I hit the coast, I hadn’t even decided what to do after. I, I’m sorry, I waited until we got close to town so you wouldn’t be too far away to walk home safely. I, ah, I wasn’t prepared for having to do this to someone I like.”

Duck shifts above him, mutters, “what the fuck do I do now” to himself, and tightens his hold on Indrid’s wrists.

Indrid whimpers, realizing with horror that his body responded to the mechanics of the fight but not it’s context.

Duck freezes at the noise, and when Indrid hazards a peek the mechanic is staring down in disbelief.

“Are you fuckin hard from this?”

There’s no use in lying, he’s faced worse humiliation than this, “Some. Not on purpose. I, ah, I enjoy rough treatment.”

Duck’s face fills with bitter amusement, “And I like givin it. But not to fellas who nearly steal my truck. Fuckin figures the first guy to flirt with me is doin it for some other reason.”

“That’s not true, my plan involved no flirting.” Indrid huffs, “I was flirting because I think you’re handsome.”

More pressure on his back as Duck leans down to whisper in his ear, grinding against his ass, “Yeah? Were you hopin I’d fuck you in here? Or over the hood when we got back?”

“Maybe.” He manages a smirk.

“Hopin I’ll fuck you now?”

Indrid nods, but Duck doesn’t notice. The mechanic sits all the way back, releasing his hands, “too damn bad, because unlike you, I only take things with permission.”

“C-consider it granted.”

The hand finds his back again, but instead of shoving or grabbing it strokes up and down, “Indrid, I’m serious. I ain’t doin anythin if the only reason you’re offerin is because you think I’ll hurt you if you don’t.”

“I’m not. I want this, Duck, I want to be with you.” He’s going back to jail one way or another after this, unwilling to consider the thought of hurting Duck to get the keys. He’d rather go back with one happy memory and a few minutes of fun freshly stored in his mind.

There’s silence, Duck’s hand still as he thinks. Then it comes down hard on Indrid’s ass, “Okay sugar, happy to oblige you. Besides, seems to me you owe me an apology for that sorry excuse for a car theft.”

Indrid moans loudly when Duck hauls onto his elbows and knees, though it’s the pet name that hits deeper than any of the much-welcome pain. The waistband of his dollar store sweatpants hits his thighs, there’s a pop of something plastic, and then a slick finger is teasing between his asscheeks.

“Vaseline. Great for keepin your skin from cracking in the cold.”

The finger disappears and he whines, pushing his ass back and getting it slapped so hard he yelps.

“Nice try. But this ain’t for you, it’s for me. Don’t got a condom and only got a tiny bit of this left and it ain’t enough to fuck you full on.”

“It’s alright, I like the pain, you could use spit or-”

“Nope” another slap, “that turns into the bad kinda pain real quick. Now open your fuckin legs.”

Indrid does so, gasps happily when Duck slides his lubed-up cock between his thighs.

“Close ‘em and keep ‘em closed. Good, ohfuckyeah that’s good.” The thrusts are already fast, Ducks hands holding his hips in place, “fuck, tell you what sugar, you may be a shitty crook but you’re a damn good lay.”

“Yes.” Indrid moans, scrabbling for a hold on the upholstery.

“Shit, you do like it rough. Like it when I talk like that?” One hand comes down, petting Indrid’s head and brushing his hair away from where it’s stuck over his eyes.

“So much, Duck, please, please, more, I want more AHgod!” Tears slip past his glasses as Duck hits the right side of his ass over and over again. He’s been treated like a criminal mastermind, made miserable because of it, so being nothing more than an eager piece of ass is a welcome change.

“Then I oughta tell you this is what you get for tryin to get one over on me. Think you can throw my ass out in the cold? Gonna turn yours so red you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

He’s so hard it isn’t even funny, and beneath the wonderful cycle of pain-relief-pain-relief his mind chants safesafesafesafe.

“Fuck, Indrid, I’m so fuckin lucky you tried that stunt on me, can’t wait to cum all over that cute little ass, ohyeah, fuck, fuckyeah.” He pulls out, cum spurting onto Indrid’s ass and legs and Indrid hears his own voice saying “thank you” as he does.

As he’s contemplating what form of begging will earn him an orgasm, he’s flipped onto his back, one calloused hand pressing him down by the shoulder while the other jerks him off. He squeaks and squirms, one palm thwacking into the door as his right leg catches the steering wheel.

“Sensitive, sugar?”

“Yes.”

“Shoulda thought of that before you bent over for me.”

“TechnicallyAH, you, you’re the one who bent me over.”

Duck jerks him extra hard in reply, grinning. The sight of him is just the right balance of menacing and protective that Indrid only needs two more bucks of his hips before he’s cumming. The mechanic works him through it, squeezing him roughly just to hear him whimper (Indrid’s certain of it).

He sits back and starts putting his clothes in order as Indrid lays there, panting from exertion and the weight of reality on his chest.

“I don’t suppose you have something I can, ah, wipe off with before you take me to the station?” He asks softly.

“I’m not taking you to the police, Indrid.”

“What? Why?” He bolts up, his mind screaming that he shouldn’t ask too many questions lest it make Duck change his mind.

“I’m not sure what kinda guy fucks someone and then hands them over to the cops, but I’m damn sure I don’t wanna be one.”

“You’d do that without even knowing the full truth?”

“Wouldn’t mind if you told me.” Duck starts the car, adds “seatbelt” as he pulls back onto the road.

Indrid gets his pants up and buckles in, huddling in on himself, “As you probably guessed, my name isn’t Wilde. It’s Indrid Cold. Wilde was the man I stole that car from, who also had a very nice AAA plan it seems. I am, or was, an architect. Quite talented, if I do say so myself. And many other people said so, once upon a time. My firm got a contract with a certain large city to design and help build a bridge. I was head of design, and I was certain this would be the project that made my name. It did. Just not how I hoped.”

Duck slows down as they reach the edge of Kepler.

“Have you ever heard of the Silverlake Bridge?”

“Ain’t that the one that collapsed a few years agooh, oh shit was that your bridge?”

“Yes. Halfway through the project, I became concerned that certain elements of the design would not be as stable as they needed to be and might collapse without warning. The higher ups said it would require a larger budget to do the new, far safer design, but gave me the go ahead to finish my proposal of the securer model. They accepted that design, and I thought that was the end of it. Turns out, they funneled the money needed for the better bridge into their own pockets, both my bosses and the representatives from the city. Unbeknownst to me, they built the weaker bridge. When it collapsed I” he takes a deep breath, the memories surfacing in a tidal wave, “I was shocked, and prepared to accept responsibility, as I could not understand how the design failed. It was only when the investigation revealed how it failed that I understood my warnings had been ignored and I was being set up as a fall guy. Not only for the collapse, but for the missing funds, my bosses swearing up one side and down the other that they’d given the money to me to manage. They’d had this planned for months, and so had built our communication in such a way that I had no proof the money hadn’t come to me. Thus I was blamed, tried, and convicted, and in the minds of many I am responsible for the death of 67 people.”

The engine shuts off and he looks up to see them in an auto garage. Duck is turned to him, face so sad and sympathetic that Indrid could almost believe..

“You think I’m telling the truth.”

“I know you are. Not sure how, but even though I ain’t much of a liar myself, I can usually tell when someone is bullshittin me.”

“I don’t want to go back to prison.”

“You won’t.”

“Duck I, I can’t ask you to hide me, that could put you in danger of arrest.”

“There’s all of four cops in Kepler, and I’d bet my life no one here could pick you out of a line-up as a ‘disgraced architect Indrid Cold.’ And if we need a cover story, Ned’s got a knack for ‘em.”

“We?”

Duck cups his cheek and Indrid leans into it, “You and me. Indrid, I think fate is a load of bullshit, but I can’t shake the feelin me pickin you up tonight was meant to be. Lemme help you, please.”

Indrid sets his hand on Duck’s own, “Okay. Ah, where do I stay? I have fifty dollars left.”

“Could stay with me if you want. No strings attached.”

“Is that your way of letting me down gently?”

“My way of saying you don’t gotta fuck me to have a place to live. If you wanna fuck me just because, say the word and I’ll rail you into next week.”

“I’d like both those things so very much. Though right now all I want is to sleep.”

Duck leans forward, kissing him so chastely that the following lovebite is all the more thrilling.

“In that case, sugar, let’s get you home.”

#Indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #winter fills #mechanic au #on the run

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